"Modesty Is A Choice"

Modesty is a choice. No one, including God, forces us to adopt modesty into our life. 
No matter our decision, God loves us, but choosing modesty will change our life. The change doesn’t happen because we stop wearing bikinis, it happens because we choose to obey and submit. 

Choices of obedience and submission are not easy when we don’t fully understand or still want to be in control. Sometimes we have obey simply because we trust that His ways are better than our understanding. Some of us might be in this place with modesty. We honestly don’t see what is wrong with showing some cleavage, wearing short-shorts or workout clothes that show all our curves. We don’t understand how modesty really leads to holiness. Even when we don’t understand, God is asking us to trust. Trust that He knows what is best. Trust that He is protecting us. Trust that He is offering true freedom. Trust that He is taking us into a deeper place of intimacy with Him. No it isn’t easy but He isn’t asking you to change overnight or all at once. He is asking us to take one step of obedience, then another of step of submission, then another of step of trust.  

Where do we start? We start by digging into His Truth, searching scripture, and talking with women who have already been on this journey. We start by make holiness our goal. As we take these steps we will fall deeper in love with Him and that’s when we will begin to understand. We will understand why God designed modesty. We will understand that it’s not about rules but about a deeper relationship with Him. We will understand that modesty is a gift that allows us to respect ourselves on a whole different level. We will understand that God isn’t after a wardrobe change; He’s after your heart. I pray that today you will choose to start the journey of modesty, even if it’s out of pure obedience and submission. He won’t let you down! 

SILENCE IS NO LONGER GOLDEN -PART 2 ...communication is

Back to our intense argument or psychological fight (well, because you are quiet), i was told you go mum because you are afraid you wont win. yes, i know i sometimes want to have the last say and win the argument, so i go on and on and on. but honey, staying away altogether and avoiding a conversation doesnt do a better job of resolving our conflicts. it in fact takes a toll on our healthy relationship. I will try to be wiser and stop trying to win. 

Finally, I thank God everyday for my blessings, whenever i count them, you always come first on my list, you are a lover, then a provider. but honey, i heard you sometimes shut down on me and lose concentration on our conversations because your mind is somewhere else, that you most times worry about our finances, our on-going project, fees for our kids' ivy league education and funding of your new business idea. why not let me know when i'm talking about things that are completely out of your priority list and tell me about yours, I'll try and focus on yours at the time once you promise me we'll talk about mine next.

Ninety percent of our challenges will be resolved when we talk about it, don't worry, i'm learning the art of crucial conversations so i'll stop pushing you into silent mode. i just want us to get better and better. i want to have the finest of our wine with you when we are all grey and toothless.

By: Itunu Adeyemi

"What Modesty Is"

Growing up when I heard the word modesty I thought it was basically about covering up everything. Dressing decently and all but thankfully, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I signed up for a Modesty Challenge and i know better now.

Modesty is a lifestyle, not a style of clothing. It is about living in such a way that all our actions, including the way dress, point people to Jesus instead of ourselves. When God talks about modest dress He isn’t commanding us to cover up every inch of who or how He made us. Instead, He is showing us how to decrease so that He can increase in our lives and be glorified. 

     1Peter 3:3 "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;"

I will be concentrating more on how the principle of modesty affects what we wear. God knew that modesty in this area would be hard! He knew that we would want to wear certain clothes that make us fit in, feel sexy, and gain stares of approval. He knew that the way we dress would be an area that would draw our attention away from Him. Therefore, He introduces us to modesty. 

In a world and culture inundated with ways to please self, God knew that we would need a reminder that beauty comes from Him, not from our clothes. Modesty wasn’t designed to frustrate us, God designed modesty to help keep our lives and bodies focused on Him instead of ourselves. I hope you take advantage of this opportunity to see modesty for what it truly is, living and dressing in a way that points people to Jesus! I pray we open our heart and allow God to wipe away any preconceived ideas and start allowing God to show us what dressing modestly is really all about. 

     

   2Corinthuans 5:20  "Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."

Let God Help You Heal.

Have you ever found yourself so excited that you can’t even explain Why?
Yes, this is exactly how i’ve being feeling ever since i made a powerful decision. I gave my life to Christ. I remember the good old days where i would cry over everything i couldn’t control, explain and handle. I would blame myself for everything even when i’m not at fault but then something great happened….I made a decision to always stay happy no matter how bad things turned out to be.
I’m 24 and i’ve had my share of unhealthy relationships ( talking about Emotional abuse). At some point i could vouch i was the most insecured Lady on earth with so much paranoia in me, i was living in Bondage. I was in conflict with myself because i didn’t trust God enough to help me deal with the Pain. I needed to let go & let God but i made things complicated for myself by not Trusting in God to help me.
I went to the mall someday to get a book to read ( i love reading & it has helped me develop somethings about me) so i saw a book by T.D Jakes “Woman, thou art loosed”, i opened the 1st chapter & right there i found what i have been looking for…..the First chapter was about the infirmed woman & it had this catchy bible verse :

“Luke 13:11-12 (KJV)
And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself. [And when Jesus saw her, he called ] her to him[, and said unto her, ] Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.” 

I could relate to that story. Hence, i got the book & went home to deal with my Infirmity…lol
The infirmity that attacked the woman in the bible was physical. However, a lot of us are also wrestling with infirmities in cases of Emotional traumas especially when we are trying to deal with the long-range after effects of past pain.
The truth is we can’t do it on our own. No matter how much we analyze the condition & understand its origin, we still need to take the auhority of God’s word to put the past under our feet!!! The trauma could be as fresh as the day it occured but the only prescription is a present word from God!
Another issue that could arise from wallowing in the past is depending on others for healing, because at this point we become an Emotional handicap, and we begin to spawn a series of unhealthy relationships (DANGER).
Anyway, after i had read a few pages of the first chapter, i realized how much of a VICTIM i had NURTURED myself to be. Oh yes! I would cry and cry, i often found myself talking about how much pain i was feeling (very weak of me ) & i became more desperate to the extent that i actually PAVED way for more people to take advantage of me…..
My dear sisters, please take note of the few points listed below which i learnt from my T.D JAKES book & i urge you to inculcate it in your everyday life regardless of whatever you are going through :

. Healing cannot come to a desperate person rummaging through other people’s lives. We need to break the habit of using other people as a narcotic to numb the dull aching of an inner void. IT NEVER WORKS & WILL NEVER WORK!

. Avoid addictive & obsessive relationships. If you find yourself increasingly dependent upon anything other than God to create a wholeness in your life, then you are abusing your relationships. ( clinging to people is far different from loving them, it is not so much a statement of your love for them but a crying out of your need for them.)

. Forgive…to forgive is to break the link between you & your past. Regardless of who you hold responsible, there is no healing in blame!

Desist from people that will not add value to your life.

If your relationship is going wrong, Pray about it and ask God to give you the strength to carry on…believe me “A failed relationship is better than a failed Marriage”

Love...

NB: post was originally written in 2013!

God First.....

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He teaches sinners in the way. The humble He guides in justice, and the humble He teaches His way.

Psalm 25:8–9

Dear father, you are good. Your ways are perfect and above my own. You deserve my full obedience and my worship. You are my teacher and authority because of your goodness.

Humble me today when I choose my way over yours. Use my prideful moments as an opportunity to teach me and redirect me.

Show my friends that your goodness is more important than their desires. Provide them with encouragement to seek your good and upright way.

Thank you for your constant instruction and concern for each step of my life.

In the name of Jesus I pray these things, amen. 

God & God Alone..

Yet for us there is one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live.

1 CoRinthians 8:6

God, you are my father who gives all good things. I have life because of you, and there is no one like you.

I ask that you would deepen that truth in my heart today. Point out my idols and the things I worship apart from you, that I would remember you alone are my God.

Give my friends and loved ones freedom from their idols as well so they can fully enjoy being part of your family. Help them know that you are their only creator and nothing on this earth has ownership of them.

Thank you for loving us, your creation, even when we go astray.

In Jesus’ name, amen. 

OUR FATHER.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

matthew 6:9–10

Father, you are above all, know all, and see all. Yet you hear me as if I am your only creation.

May I not view you as a distant father, but as one who has come to earth and understands the challenges and temptations of my life. Be near me today and whisper reminders that you are close and holding me as your child.

My friends need you today as they make dif- ficult decisions in their workplaces and within their families. Would you show them that you are closer than even their earthly fathers?

Thank you for hearing me and listening to my pleas.

It’s in Jesus’ name I pray this, amen. 

LET US PRAY

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by

whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:15

Father, you have made me your child through your Spirit. In your kindness you adopted me and delivered me from sin and death.

Remind me today what it means to be your child and to be free from that law. It is so easy for me to live my day on my own terms. Help me to live it in light of your grace.

I pray for my friends and family. Help them experience your love as their father and feel their inheritance in your spirit.

Thank you for accepting me as I am but not leaving me the same.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Max Lucardo

 

November To Remember..

Forget about the days and night, ups and downs, good and bad of the previous month. Its time to go on and hope for the best. Wishing you  all a happy New Month.

Love,

Oye(DivineDiva)

The New Lady in Waiting: Becoming God’s Best While Waiting for Mr Right~~By Jackie Kendall & Debby Jones~~Review

Lady in Waiting is an exciting way to enhance your personal life and enrich your spiritual journey...

I love reading and there's no way i would turn down a good book but when i got to Laterna Ventures (bookstore) and a friend offered to buy this book for me, i said "No, i'm tired of reading books for single ladies,i don't plan to remain single"..she just wouldn't let me rest and said i needed to read it not just for me but my ministry "TheDivineDivas"....i decided to instead stock a few copies and sell which i eventually did but what made me keep a copy for myself was the high rate in demand. I had people commenting on my instagram page (@iamdivinediva1) and they said it wasn't just a good read, a life changing one. 

    I was wrong.."Lady in Waiting" isn't just a book for singles but every woman that thinks having a man by her sideis the   ultimate goal.

As a Christian single lady, waiting for Mr. Right can be one of the most difficult situations we face. The book is filled With humor, honesty, and biblical truths, It will help you fill the time by becoming the right woman while you wait for the right man. By studying the biblical character Ruth, you'll learn the characteristics that every woman of God should develop. This expanded edition of the original best-seller includes a personal journal and study guide.

 Lady in Waiting is a remarkable book with powerful insights that will touch every woman's heart. It focuses on putting God first in one's life. Lady in Waiting is designed for any age as it accurately examines concerns and problems women face in today's society.

 I will be reviewing each chapters on the blog!

If you have read and would like to review a chapter please send me an email Oyeajakaiye@gmail.com

Stay glued....❤️❤️

When Will It Be My Turn?

Let’s be honest, There are times when our lives seem to be at a stand still. We set goals, but it seems as though we will never achieve them. We sit back and watch everyone around us continue to be blessed and gloat about their answered prayers and continuous flow of blessings. We’re genuinely happy for them,  but we can’t help but wonder “when will it be my turn?” It’s not that we actually believe that God is ignoring us. We believe that He hears us and that He will answer us in due time. It’s the “due time” that gets us in a frenzy when God’s timing is taking too long.

“I’ve been patiently waiting for my Boaz for a while now. When will love finally find me? Lord, I need you to move now!”

“I’ve been trying to have kids for a while now. What if I’m too old to have kids? What if I’m too old to enjoy my kids?  I need God to bless me with a child before I’m 35. Lord, I need you to move now!”

“I’ve been trying to get my career off the ground for a while now. When will I get my big break? When will doors start to open for me? Lord, I need you to move now!”

These are all concerns that may interrupt our day to day living. We’re so focused on “when” we never stop to ask “what“.

What is it God wants me to learn during this waiting period?

What can I do to prepare myself while I wait?

What does the bible say about patiently waiting on God?

For me… I was praying for a husband. So much that my world started to revolve around finding him. This lead to a few unhealthy relationships which I knew were going nowhere from the start. I was so impatient and didn’t want to wait on God, so I was determined to try to force each and every one of them work. But how many of us know that when God says no, the answer is no? There’s no debating or negotiating. He has the final say so. It took me a while to get this in my spirit, but boy when I did!!! 

Instead of asking God why? I had to stop and ask myself a few questions. 

“What does God want me to work on within myself during this waiting period?”

“How can I draw closer to God instead of pulling away from Him during this waiting period?”

“Who can I encourage that may be going through the same thing?

God’s timing is perfect… never early, never late. He knows what is best for us and will place us at the right place at the right time. It’s only a matter of time, so hold on to Gods promises for your life.

Waiting may be painful at times, but It’s so necessary as Christians .  The fastest way is not always the best way!

Marriage Built On Biblical Principles

Father, Your Word establishes that wives should submit to their husband’s authority and reverence him. Your Word also establishes that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it (1 Peter 3: 1- 7). We thank You that this is established in our relationship now and forever. We thank You, Father, for making us greater together than we will ever be apart (Ecclesiastes 4: 9- 12)

We thank You, Father, that divorce is not an option in this marriage so the discussion of such will never be entertained (Mark 10: 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder). We thank You for the willingness to rectify all disagreements or conflict in our relationship before our day ends (Ephesians 4: 26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath). We confess and decree that we will give envy and strife no place in this relationship (James 3: 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work). We confess and decree that we use kind words to deflect frustration and anger (Proverbs 15: 1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger; Proverbs 16: 24 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones). We confess and decree that we will live harmoniously and love each other with the unconditional love of Christ.

We thank You, Father, that our family prays together and will stay together, 

happily and lovingly, through the submission to Your Word and the leadership of my husband/ myself (Psalm 127: 1 Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 

We declare and decree that the glory of our future will be greater than that of our past (Haggai 2: 9)

Amen...

Curled from "I need to Pray" by Tina Campbell

Picture from instagram @jidekolaphotography

6 Rules of Handling Relationship Conflict..

Through conflict we can grow more like Jesus, see the world in a bigger way, and learn to be less selfish. We can feel understood and valued by our spouse. We can end up feeling that our marriage is rock solid.
But that doesn’t happen if conflict tears down rather than builds up.
So if you want it to build up, follow these 6 steps:

 

Now I know not all conflict can go that smoothly. Some of us struggle with spouses who are deep in sin or who are extremely selfish. But that is a minority of relationships. Usually it’s just a misunderstanding that’s making us feel off kilter.
To repair those moments, keep in mind these rules.


Curled from christianpost.com

 

You Can’t See What You Don’t First Believe

How often we tend to only believe things we can see. After all, "seeing is believing" as the often-used statement says. Vision that only touches the surface will bring limited results. The end result of what we see begins with what we choose to believe. Our physical sight is very limited but our ability to believe with our hearts and see with our minds is not.

Most everything that exists is a result of someone believing that it could. Dreams come true based on the choice we make to believe in the idea, the project or the concept that we want to become a reality. Much of life is based on believing strongly in something. "Walking by faith and not by sight" is easier said than done. To believe what we cannot now see requires us to remove the scales from our mental vision and the blocks that so often exists because of preconceived notions that are far from truth or reality.
Your mind is powerful. So powerful that it can envision where you want to go, who you want to be, and what you want to do long before you can see it and even if you're not currently in the best position. What we believe dictates our vision and causes what we envision to come to pass.

Too often, we give up when hard times come. When difficulties hit us in the face and adversities become our present reality, we tend to retreat instead of fight forward. Because we are not all-knowing and cannot see the future from our present vantage point, we sometimes make the fatal mistake of allowing what we cannot now see hinder us from believing it will one day come to pass. When we face the impossible, that is the time to start believing that it is possible. What we believe is always greater than what we can see.

Saint Augustine said, "Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you



 www.DaniellaWhyte.com.

WALK AWAY..

It's hard to walk away, but you must! You have to make sure that you're not holding on out of ego. You have to be sure that you're not trying to raise an adult or change a person who is unwilling to change. It's not about you, it's about them. It's not that you're not worthy of love. It's that they aren't ready to learn how to love. You have to recognize that and be willing to walk away.
Sometimes it's the walking away part that makes a person change. If you've left before and it didn't influence them to change then the next time you leave it needs to be for good.
We waste so much unnecessary time trying to make love work. You have to be willing to admit when you didn't know love and you built on lust instead. You have to be willing to cut your losses, learn your lesson(s), and move on stronger and wiser. You can't force love and you shouldn't have to.
Love is a gift not a curse. Don't live a cursed life by trying to hold onto a lie. Evaluate your situation. If you know you've done all you can to make it work and it hasn't, let it go. Love is waiting for you but you can't attract it if you're still tied to a lie.
I pray you find the strength to leave if you know you need to leave!

source: www.TonyGaskins.com 

I wanted to keep it Professional - Devon Franklin

Hollywood executive and preacher, Devon Franklin  has revealed that he almost did not date his current wife Meagan Good to avoid seeming unprofessional.

The pair worked together on the 2011 film "Jumping The Broom," but Franklin wanted nothing more than to view the Christian actress as a colleague.

"I was mindful of crossing that professional line," Franklin mentioned in one his interviews with  a magazine recently. "Then, while we were talking at the Jumping The Broom premiere party, I thought, 'Wait! Something is going on here' but I kept trying to tell myself, 'No, no no.'

Now, he views the 32-year-old actress as nothing short of a blessing in his life.
"Meagan is just so precious, so incredible," Franklin told ESSENCE. "When she walks in the room, I think 'Wow, is that really my wife? God must really think highly of me!'"
Franklin previously offered some advice about how some people's preferences can cause them to miss out on love.
"What if your greatest blessing is lying on the other side of the very thing you keep rejecting because you don't think it looks like what you want it to look like," Franklin questioned an OWN "Life Class" audience recently. "When it came to love and it came to dating, I said I would never date an actress."
Franklin said he believed that not wanting something will bring it into your life.
"The fastest way for something to happen in your life, is just say, 'I'll never do it,'" he said.
However, Franklin said that patience is key to maintaining a good relationship.

source: christianpost.com

"I wish there was somebody in the house who knew that there was power in the patience…if you just wait, God will do it.

In the February 2012 issue of EBONY, Franklin wrote his wife a love letter where he talks about being blessed to love her.
"I'm amazed at how incredible God really is. How incredible that He chose me with the blessing of loving you," Franklin wrote to his wife. "You are my true love. I can absolutely say I started living when you came into my life. Each day, I'm so grateful that I can love you and be loved by you."






HERE'S VIDEO OF THEIR KINGDOM LOVE http://onechurchla.org/?portfolio=kingdom-love-with-devon-franklin-meagan-good

Be Inspired

Ready For Love?

A lot of us aren't far from being ready for love, but there are some areas that we may need to work on first. 
If you're like me that's had more taste of toxic relationships that good ones, i'll recommend you take note of the points listed below. I'm glad that my perspective on relationships has changed a whole lot after i found Christ but it doesn't change the fact that i'm still afraid of making a wrong choice.
We are in age where people live their lives based on reality (negative realities) instead of facts (Godly facts).
For every time I've had to reflect on my past relationships, i realize  i made those choices. No one forced me, i was dating at the level of my self esteem then but now i know better and i can boldly say that relationships don't have to be sour.
I have friends that now tell me i have unrealistic standards but i still do not plan for less. An healthy relationship isn't always perfect but yea very productive.

"We can't help who we are attracted to but we can help who we choose to be with."

In relationships, there’s no such thing as achieving perfection, but it’s important to have a healthy perspective of where you came from, who you are, and where you’re going. Be open to getting to know yourself as best as you can, because it will set the stage for success in your future relationships. Take some time to set your priorities and get your expectations on track understanding what a relationship can and can’t do. You may have some fears, and the truth is, relationships can be risky- but open your heart to trusting God and seeking His good plan for your life. Invite Him to be a part of your love and relationships by connecting with Him every step of the way. Healthy relationships are learned, so invest a lot of time in the friendship stage and keep working on the actions of love by learning healthy communication. Be sure to understand and apply the importance of emotional and physical boundaries, and remember that good relationships aren't just found- they are chosen. Seek to make good choices.

"While it’s true we are in the world but are not of the world, even the strongest Christian single needs a little help to survive the daily grind sometimes. Gain insights on all the things required to help you endure the nuances of daily living."

Love,
Oye (DivineDiva)

#Christiansingles-Dealing with Sexual Desires

Issues such as sex are not often discussed in churches today but i feel we need to shed more light in that angle. I am personally confused as a Christian single lady that's tasted sex before and now that I've decided to honor God with my body it feels tougher. I've been celibate for over one year and it's not like i desire sex but dealing with people that desire sex is my struggle.
Recently, i almost got carried away and the devil sent me on a guilt trip for hours. I wasn't myself because i got physically intimate with someone i was attracted to. It is true that our desire for sex and sexual/physical intimacy is evidence of our need to connect.  We are relational beings, who even by the nature of our physiological makeup, are created to be in connection with other human beings.
As Christians how do we handle them when we have no means of expressing them as an unmarried individual?  How do we allow these desires to point us to Jesus, rather than keep us away?
 I've come to realize that dealing with sexual desires is something we will face at many points in our single life but learning to deal with these desires in a healthy and God-honoring way is a discipline that will last us in a healthy married life.
if you're like me that's made a decision to honor God my body, Here are some steps as seen on truelovedates.com that we can take, as we seek to honor God with these overwhelming desires?

First, we must allow our desires to bring us in CONNECTION WITH GOD. What I mean by this is that so many times we are wired to run from God in guilt, fear, and shame when we are struggling with our sexual desires. This is the devil's plan so find whatever way you can to connect to God. Worship, pray, study the word. Do anything that would bring you back to Jesus.

Secondly, it is important we CONNECT WITH OTHERS.  There are times when the gravity of our sexual desire correlates with the state of our emotional needs.  We need to feel loved, accepted, and to belong.  Sex in marriage offers all of those things within the context of a life-long companion.  But for those who are unmarried, those very needs can begin to be met outside of a sexual relationship- in the embrace of a friend or the comforting words of a loving mentor.  God can use all kinds of people to fill our deep emotional needs for connection.  But we have to be aware of the connection, and then take action by engaging in meaningful non-sexual relationships.

Thirdly, we can CONNECT TO THE WORLD around us. channel your anger!  I believe that we can also channel our sexual desires by focusing our time, our energy, and our efforts on things that are meaningful and purposeful.  What is it that excites you?   What are the things that your heart deeply connects with?  What causes do you feel are most important in this world?  Use your energies to make a difference in the world around you. I think Paul was referring to just that when he explained that greater than sexual connection, is the ability to serve God in a focused and undistracted way.  Unlike Paul,  we may not all have the life-calling of a celibacy, but we do have a calling toward meaning, toward purpose, and toward a fulfilling life.  Use this time in your life to focus your energies on things that matter and the pursuit of your passions- and I believe it will bring you one step closer to getting a healthy perspective on your sexual desires.

Finally, PROTECT. Not only are we called to connect, but we are called to protect this God-given gift that we’ve been given.  You can have the greatest intentions in the world, coupled with the strongest desire to do right- but if you don’t have a plan, you’re not going to be able to get to where you want to be. We need to make a practical plan that will challenge you to take the necessary steps to both being freed from sexual sin, as well as protecting yourself from sexual struggles.

May God give us the wisdom and the grace to realize that He has got our best interest in mind…and He always has.  May we find the courage and strength to choose to do things His way, because His way will always be our best.
  Make sure you share this with someone..




Love,
Divnediva

How do you handle them when you have no means of expressing them as an unmarried individual?  How do you allow them to point you to Jesus, rather than keep you away? - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/what-to-do-with-sexual-desires/#sthash.u9bYfxyU.dpuf

Affair-guard your Marriage.

Marriage is very rarely a match made in heaven, and often requires much more work than many people realize they are getting themselves into. Along with the journey of parenting, marriage is truly one of the bigger challenges in our lives.
Affairs are, unfortunately, one of the biggest reasons for separation and divorce these days.That is why it is very important to understand what you can do today to help affair-guard your marriage in the years to come.
Communication is a key in any successful relationship. If you are having problems, turn towards your spouse, not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. Your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they’re interested in together. Don’t stop being friends just because you’re married.
According to Lakesha of http://kingdomrelationships.org Growth is one vital element of marriage that many people take for granted. A constant sense of growth needs to be present in any marriage. If it’s not, one partner may feel like they are moving forward and their spouse is not, which often creates a wall between them. They feel as if they are worlds apart, or not on the same track as far as growth. Be sure to take time each day for growth within your relationship. Make a commitment to do one thing each day that will benefit your marriage, no matter how small it may be.  Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship if you feel you’ve gotten off track.

Certain things in your marriage should be guarded like a hawk. There are things that should be held in high value in a marriage, and kept sacred.

• Time – The way you spend your time should be guarded in respect toward your marriage and family. Where are you spending your time? Ask your spouse if they need more time with you. Time with your spouse should be set aside and kept in high regards. Respect the time you spend together.

• Mind – What occupies your mind? Is your spouse often present in your mind? Do you think good thoughts about them? Evaluate what is on your mind, and put your marriage in there if it’s not already.

• Energy – Where you are putting your energy, especially everyday, is important to your marriage. Where are you putting your energy? Is your energy invested in your marriage, your family, or in less important events in life? Evaluate your energy, and make sure that there is a reasonable balance between activity, work, marriage, and family.

Finally, set a Formula for Success. Your marriage has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your spouse’s needs are so that you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate them. Don’t let resentment build.



Written by Lakesha..kingdomrelationships.org