No Man Can Make You Happy

Have you been wondering Why your boyfriend doesn’t just get you? Have you been trying to figure out why your husband or boyfriend of several years can't make your happy? Well, the truth is: No man can make you happy. And I’m not sure God ever designed men to.

That’s because happiness is based on circumstances. Yet circumstances are the one part of our lives over which we have virtually no control. Since we can’t control circumstances, pursuing happiness means constantly scanning our surroundings to see if they make us happy. And as soon as we start doing that, we will find all the reasons why our circumstances don’t measure up.

God never intended us to be passive. He made us to actively engage this world and to shine in it. So perhaps we need another route to happiness in marriage or our relationships—one that is far more likely to get us to the finish line. And it starts with fixing our own hearts.

Pursue Joy

I think of happiness as quite distinct from joy or contentment. Joy looks upward, contentment looks inward, and happiness looks outward. Joy says, “How great is our God!” Contentment says, “It is well with my soul.” And happiness says, “All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.” But you can’t appreciate what’s outside of you until you’re at peace with what’s inside. And that requires focusing on God first.

Psalm 37:4 : “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart”. This doesn’t mean that when we delight ourselves in God he gives us everything we want; it means that when we delight ourselves in God, he actually changes what we want. We start looking with gratitude at what God has done for us.

Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness

Sometimes nothing changes except  we work on our attitude. We need to Run after God!

Women! jump on the Joy track and start looking for ways to bring God into your daily life. You can start to conversationally pray “without ceasing.” Turn to Scripture not to fix her problems but just to see Jesus.

We need to understand first of all that  Our happiness is a gift to the people we cherish...husband..kids... When we pursue joy and find happiness, we no longer rely on 'man" to make us happy. When we look to God first, we free our husbands or loved ones  to be who God made them to be, not who we want them to be. And that changes the whole dynamic in the relationship.

Deal with Sin

Jesus wants to bring wholeness to our lives, relationships and our marriages, and that wholeness can only come when we deal with our issues honestly.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9, NIV). We’re to make peace, not just keep peace. And in some marriages, too many keep peace. A lot of us (women) are so afraid of conflict that we try to keep issues from reaching the surface. peace we need to know isn't the absence of conflict (1 Corinthians 1:10). Real peace only comes when we stop hiding from reality and we bring our mess to God—even if that means rocking the boat.

Jesus gives us a different route to happiness.We are not to aim for happiness; but to aim for him instead. That’s not passively waiting for someone to make our life better; it’s actively pursuing God’s best for us, for our husbands, and for our marriage. Even if it’s hard.

Matthew 6:33 makes it clear enough that when we seek God first, every other thing will be added unto us. And so we need to keep running after Jesus because that’s the only way we can really experience any man's love.

cheers...

When Will It Be My Turn?

Let’s be honest, There are times when our lives seem to be at a stand still. We set goals, but it seems as though we will never achieve them. We sit back and watch everyone around us continue to be blessed and gloat about their answered prayers and continuous flow of blessings. We’re genuinely happy for them,  but we can’t help but wonder “when will it be my turn?” It’s not that we actually believe that God is ignoring us. We believe that He hears us and that He will answer us in due time. It’s the “due time” that gets us in a frenzy when God’s timing is taking too long.

“I’ve been patiently waiting for my Boaz for a while now. When will love finally find me? Lord, I need you to move now!”

“I’ve been trying to have kids for a while now. What if I’m too old to have kids? What if I’m too old to enjoy my kids?  I need God to bless me with a child before I’m 35. Lord, I need you to move now!”

“I’ve been trying to get my career off the ground for a while now. When will I get my big break? When will doors start to open for me? Lord, I need you to move now!”

These are all concerns that may interrupt our day to day living. We’re so focused on “when” we never stop to ask “what“.

What is it God wants me to learn during this waiting period?

What can I do to prepare myself while I wait?

What does the bible say about patiently waiting on God?

For me… I was praying for a husband. So much that my world started to revolve around finding him. This lead to a few unhealthy relationships which I knew were going nowhere from the start. I was so impatient and didn’t want to wait on God, so I was determined to try to force each and every one of them work. But how many of us know that when God says no, the answer is no? There’s no debating or negotiating. He has the final say so. It took me a while to get this in my spirit, but boy when I did!!! 

Instead of asking God why? I had to stop and ask myself a few questions. 

“What does God want me to work on within myself during this waiting period?”

“How can I draw closer to God instead of pulling away from Him during this waiting period?”

“Who can I encourage that may be going through the same thing?

God’s timing is perfect… never early, never late. He knows what is best for us and will place us at the right place at the right time. It’s only a matter of time, so hold on to Gods promises for your life.

Waiting may be painful at times, but It’s so necessary as Christians .  The fastest way is not always the best way!

I want to abstain from Sex but He doesn't

A lot of Christian women are deciding to abstain from sex until marriage for many reasons. The problem comes in when trying to date men who are accustomed to having sex while in a relationship.

I have decided to start dating again while i maintain living by God's principle to save sex for marriage but i keep meeting men who are Christians but don't want to live by God's principles about sex. I think it's more difficult knowing I'm not a virgin but i believe a man will wait for anything or anyone he feels is worth it. There is a shift happening now and because of the state of relationships people are becoming more thoughtful about their actions.
Never compromise your beliefs to please a man...actually it's more like Never compromise your relationship with God to please a man.The man who is for you will respect you and will wait for you.
I recommend doing it God's way. That's where the blessings are and less stress is there. Some women say they have sex because they want to. No, you're having sex because you've been conditioned and programmed to have sex to keep and to please a man. So you give a boyfriend the benefits of a husband and claim that it's all your idea.
If a man leaves you for having standards, let him leave. If a man can't see the bigger picture, he's still a grown boy and will probably cause you more pain and stress than peace and happiness.Has marriage worked even when the couple had sex while dating? Yes! Does that mean it's right? No! Sex keeps no man!!
I started talking to someone recently, he had some of the qualities of what i wanted in my man but he definitely can't wait or isn't willing to wait.
Build your relationship on friendship, not sex. If sex couldn't be part of your relationship, would it still work? If one of you had a stroke and couldn't have sex anymore, would there still be love? If one of you has a surgery or is hospitalized and you couldn't have sex, would there be infidelity? A lot of men even cheat on their woman while she's pregnant. That's because the relationship was built on lust and sex, not love and friendship. So my message to you is; if your legs are closed, keep them closed. If your legs are open, close them.
Do something out of the norm and build a relationship on friendship. Let the lust build and fulfill it when you give the woman a commitment until death do you part. Be the man and take the lead; and lead with love. Let it be your idea to wait until marriage for sex instead of being forced into it by her. You won't die without having sex. What you will gain is self-control, self-respect, focus, will-power, determination, strength, and so much more.

Challenge yourself and Grow through it because you're worth the wait.

Cheers...

I never asked you to be my Girlfriend...

    There so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the confusion they’ve experienced as a result of  friends with benefits.
Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with no clear direction of where its headed?  We call ourselves single yet we engage in a relationship that sometimes feels like an addiction. A relationship filled with Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship.
We've become a generation that's comfortable with doing the "Normal" instead of the "right" things. Even though normal feels like the acceptable thing, this lack of certainty kind of relationship will cause more damage than do any good.
The last time i checked, I've been involved in more friends with benefits kind of relationships than any serious one. I actually thought it was the coolest thing ever..i mean no strings attached right? but the truth is there are actually more strings attached.
   I remember the last experience that got me running from such contract...I met Femi in a popular Lagos Club, good looking and very calm guy (well...i thought he was)..he walked up to me and offered me a bottle of champagne. We got talking inside the club and we exchanged numbers.
We often started seeing daily, got closer and graduated to getting physical  without any proper definition. I wanted more but i couldn't say anything because i thought defining whatever we were doing would mean "expecting more from Femi"...We were together for over one year until i figured he was talking to some new chic and i confronted him and he said to me "i never asked you to be my girlfriend"
   We started a relationship with "no rules, no titles, no commitment and well it ended that way.
If you ever find yourself caught in the ambiguity of a friends with benefits relationship–maybe it’s time to ask yourself who this relationship is actually benefiting?  Here are some things to consider:

1.  When you start a relationship with no boundaries–you usually stay there. One thing that defines a friends with benefits relationship is the fact that it’s lacking boundaries. The problem in relationships like this is that they don’t magically turn into healthy relationships along the way.  When you start a game with no rules–it’s really hard to go back and play by the rules.

2.  If you give it for free–they’ll never pay for it.  A huge problem in the friends with benefits culture is that you learn to give, and give, and give–with no expectation or understanding of what you’ll get in return.  You give of yourself, your body, your time, and your emotions without requiring a commitment.  When it comes to relationships, commitment is the price to pay–the more you give, the more you should receive.  We all come with a price tag–and that price tag should be set high.  But friends with benefits encourages you to give for free–and creates an atmosphere that fuels selfishness, disrespect, and zero responsibility. Healthy relationships require you to take ownership of your choices–and that always starts with clear commitment

3.  The physical has the power to affect the emotional–and skew the rational.  We’re made to bond during physical intimacy.  Whether it be a hug, a kiss, or sex–our bodies are wired to release chemicals during physical intimacy that make us feel connected to the person we’re with.  That’s a really amazing thing–but it can be a really confusing thing when your mind is telling you you’re friends–and your emotions are telling you something far different.  When you create a relationship that’s built on the physical–your emotions will always follow suit.  But the thing is–emotions can’t always be trusted.

4. If you’ve decided to be just “friends” with someone–there’s probably a good reason. physical and emotional connection will cause you to keep coming back for more–until you find yourself in an extremely unhealthy and dangerous cycle that can leave you feeling paralyzed, stuck, and unable to move forward.

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

 No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. They will still approach you, they will call you boring bu you have choice...Don't wait for any guy to tell you "he never asked you to be his girlfriend"

Friends with Benefits has zero Benefits.


inspired by:
truelovedates.com

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpu

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

He can't handle your past?

I am a woman in my late-20s, hoping to be married someday. I love and follow God to the best of my ability. I grew up in a Christian home; however, during high school days i got really adventurous and my University days extremely wild. I loved partying, drinking and i didn't exclude having sex.
Even though i knew i wanted more of commitment than sex in my relationship, i couldn't help settling for less.
I spent a lot of time trying to convince every guy i met that i wasn't totally a bad girl and would take whatever they brought my way all in the name of "seeking acceptance"
 After i dedicated my life to Christ , of course a lot changed and it has improved my perspective about relationships. I no longer worry about what some guy thinks of me. The most important thing to me now is getting it right with God.
I feel brand new and i think only God can give one that kind of confident. I know there are several Ladies out there struggling with this but I'm hoping after reading this post, you will realize you're not the problem but the man judging you is.
The problem with the guys who break up with you when they find out about your past is that they don’t understand the seriousness of sin. Not really. They would say they do and that’s why they can’t date you. But Scripture says they don’t, or they’d be humbled by the knowledge of how much they’ve been forgiven (Luke 7:47).
We all have pasts to be forgiven. Before trusting Jesus’ finished work on the cross, we all stand condemned before God (Romans 3:10). If you have truly repented and turned from your former sins; if you are “flee[ing] youthful passions and pursu[ing] righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22); if you are abiding in Christ and striving to be like Him in the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Peter 1:16, 1:22), then a man who understands the Gospel will know that you are a sinner like himself, mercifully saved by grace to the praise of God’s glory. Though your past will undoubtedly be a grief to him and the specifics will be painful to hear, for a man who truly understands the Gospel, that you sinned when you were not faithfully following Christ will not be a surprise.

I believe there are godly single men who will forgive your past and look at you for who you really are: "the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus." Such a one will be the sort who understands the horror of his own sin  and the infinite mercy he has received in Christ. He must be a man who is truly saved, one who understands the Gospel of GRACE.
I pray God will lead us to a man who, when he hears the horrors of our past, will in light of the glories of Christ's saving work, rejoice greatly in God, the God who transforms sinners.

 Oye(DivineDiva)
curled from www.boundless.org  


If you have a question you'd like us to consider for this blog, or a personal experience you'll like to share. please send it to oyeajakaiye@gmail.com

5 lessons I have learnt from my 5 months of being married - Funto Ibuoye

So it's been 5 months of amazing grace!! Grateful for little beginnings and celebrating every step of the way. Looking forward to the next 5 years and 50 years.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to know it all when it comes to marriage, matter of fact, I'm still in the creche class of marriage. When we are 1 year, I'd move to kindergarten but I have learnt and still learning a lot and simply sharing my lessons.

1. It all starts from the mind. Your marriage will be a reflection of the kind of things you imagine about your marriage in your mind. If you imagine a great, beautiful, fun and blissful marriage, that's what you'd get. If you imagine a marriage that's full of strife and unhappiness, that's what you get. Out of the heart flows the issues of life (and marriage). So everyday I wake up and imagine having the best marriage ever and that's what I get.

2. A Great marriage takes WORK. No, just because both of you are born again, tongue speaking, demon slaying Christians doesn't automatically translate to a great marriage. Yes, that's the foundation but you have to put in the work. Work to put down your pride. Work to get rid of every selfishness. Even the bible says faith without works is dead. So if you like imagine the best marriage, if you don't work for it, you'd only be building castles in the air. And work is not always fun. There have been times I have cried and shouted and sat up late at nights sorting our issues until I finally learnt.

3. Surround yourself with people who are older and have great marriages and also people who are like you and striving towards having great marriages. You cannot possibly go wrong when you are surrounded with like minded people. When I meet older people whose marriages I admire, I ask questions and learn a few things I can apply in my own marriage. I also keep friends, some I've known since and some I've recently met but share same values; we encourage each other, share messages on marriage, pray together, hang out together, share each others victories and challenges.

4. Just because you married as a Virgin doesn't automatically translate to having great sex. Sex like every other thing has to be learnt. It took a while and a lot of reading (and praying) to finally get it. Plus I have a sex mentor who's a "married sex expert" and tutored me almost every step of the way. Sex is very important in marriage, I could not have kept my self all the way till marriage and now get married and be dulling myself. I can only have sex with my husband and I can only have sex on earth (no sex in heaven) so the least I can do is to make the best of it. And it helps a lot when you can talk about every and anything with your spouse. So when he's not doing what I want, I open my mouth and tell him what to do. Getting married as a virgin is not an excuse to not learn how to have great sex. Sex is beautiful and God made sex... For marriage only.

5. Keep your individuality. Yes both of you are now one since you got married. But you are still YOU and your spouse is still him/herself. Just because you're ow married doesn't mean you must now do EVERYTHING together EVERY TIME. Yes pray together, but maintain your individual relationship with Christ. Yes study the word together, but still have your own personal study time. Yes hang out together, but still have your own ME time. You can only fully love someone else when you are the best version of YOU.
‪#‎Marriageisbeautiful‬ ‪#‎ilovemyhusband‬ ‪#‎MCM‬ ‪#‎BlessedbyJesus‬ ‪#‎Spoiltbymyhusband‬

LOVE IS PATIENT - Funto & Akinade

PowerCouple

 In December 2001- Camp Joseph, organized by YDi-Young Disciples International. (God bless Christian Mothers)! Gaise had a supernatural encounter with God and got into what is known in YDi as Covenant of Purity (COP) and that was how he began saving himself for marriage. He made the decision so as to Honor God with his body.
 Then he met a lady who had made the same decision elsewhere. Their Love story is a unique one but this post is specifically to encourage everyone that's waiting till the deal day.
God's purpose for marriage is definitely beyond physical intimacy.

Isn't she lovely?

Funto is an unashamed Lady after Christ, an Accounting graduate from Covenant University. She got married to Akinade Ibuoye, popularly known as "Gaisebaba" who studied Economics at Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife and a Nigerian based energetic, afro fusion Gospel artist on the 23rd of Novemer 2014.
  To Funto "Marriage is the Union of two imperfect people sustained by one perfect Savior".

THEIR STORY
Gaise met Funto on the 20th of October 2012 at a Steve Harris seminar tagged  ‘Business of Your Talent’.He was aparticipant while Funto was a volunteer worker at the registration desk. Gaise noticed how bubbly and beautiful at first contact and he ensured he got her BBM pin that day.
Conversation commenced, then Chemistry but they both had to WAIT because they had just gotten out of a bad relationship.
The next six month wasn't a smooth one for them because Gaise wanted to make sure he was getting it right. They deleted themselves on bbm and even unfollowed on twitter all in the name of WAITING..hmm

Real Men Pray! 

 They defined their relationship in July 2013 and like every other couple had a lot of personal issues to deal with,,*awwww*
Overtime their relationship began to blossom and they learnt how to deal with their differences. They could have given up at several points but they didn’t; we worked at it and made sure it worked out. It was a collective effort.

cute..picture curled from #Bellanaija

 Gaise finally proposed to Funto on the 12th of February 2014, He made an artwork of her, got a bouquet of flowers and of course the engagement ring and went to her office where he popped the question. 

Funto's 25th birthday

Godliness is not an excuse not to be romantic, we think Gaise nailed it!!

watch the proposal video here https://youtu.be/2Z78IUpw-Zk

Welcome to Match Made in Heaven...

 Welcome to Match Made in Heaven, a Christian Blog that promotes purity and Godliness in relationships. The purpose of this blog is to encourage and celebrate Singles and married couples that belong to Jesus.
We understand the challenges that come with maintaining a Godly relationship but will be shedding more light on the benefits.We will be sharing excerpts from real life events such weddings, engagements and even proposals.
 We promise to bring you the best Kingdom couple gists. Read more about our kigdom couple crush for the day.

 “When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.”
― Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

   Sarah Jakes, 25, is the daughter of prominent Bishop T.D. Jakes, who shared her testimony in her memoir, "Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life."
"If you had told me the girl who got pregnant at thirteen and felt like the black sheep child of America's favorite preacher would now be a twenty-five-year-old single mom, divorcee, author, motivational speaker, TV personality, ministry director, and senior editor, I never would have believed you," she writes
One thing that got me stalking Sarah all over social media was her "transparency". She believes in sharing the messy details first before delivering the message.
 According to Sarah, the only way to get your bearings and find yourself is to trust that you were never really lost," she continued. "Amid all your twists and turns, perhaps you simply haven't discovered the right direction yet. God loves the lost. And He loves to help us find our way when we turn to Him and ask directions."
 Sarah Jakes got married to her Christian lover Toure Roberts who happens to be a prominent and sought after Man of God. Toure leads a congretion in LA called "One church International"
 Pastor Toures told his congregation they left town  and had a very private, intimate ceremony, because they wanted it to be about them...He described the ceremony as a beautiful, beautiful sunset ceremony on a fine beach."
   Pastor Roberts, 41, proposed on September 22. It is the second marriage for both, and they have a total of five children form their prior relationships.

  

 Watch this clip to hear their match made in heaven story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13MXWH8RiFo... We can't wait to read yours.



Love...
XoXo