Touré Roberts and Sarah Jakes on Love, Purpose, Relationships and Destiny

Must watch....share with a friend!!

I want to abstain from Sex but He doesn't

A lot of Christian women are deciding to abstain from sex until marriage for many reasons. The problem comes in when trying to date men who are accustomed to having sex while in a relationship.

I have decided to start dating again while i maintain living by God's principle to save sex for marriage but i keep meeting men who are Christians but don't want to live by God's principles about sex. I think it's more difficult knowing I'm not a virgin but i believe a man will wait for anything or anyone he feels is worth it. There is a shift happening now and because of the state of relationships people are becoming more thoughtful about their actions.
Never compromise your beliefs to please a man...actually it's more like Never compromise your relationship with God to please a man.The man who is for you will respect you and will wait for you.
I recommend doing it God's way. That's where the blessings are and less stress is there. Some women say they have sex because they want to. No, you're having sex because you've been conditioned and programmed to have sex to keep and to please a man. So you give a boyfriend the benefits of a husband and claim that it's all your idea.
If a man leaves you for having standards, let him leave. If a man can't see the bigger picture, he's still a grown boy and will probably cause you more pain and stress than peace and happiness.Has marriage worked even when the couple had sex while dating? Yes! Does that mean it's right? No! Sex keeps no man!!
I started talking to someone recently, he had some of the qualities of what i wanted in my man but he definitely can't wait or isn't willing to wait.
Build your relationship on friendship, not sex. If sex couldn't be part of your relationship, would it still work? If one of you had a stroke and couldn't have sex anymore, would there still be love? If one of you has a surgery or is hospitalized and you couldn't have sex, would there be infidelity? A lot of men even cheat on their woman while she's pregnant. That's because the relationship was built on lust and sex, not love and friendship. So my message to you is; if your legs are closed, keep them closed. If your legs are open, close them.
Do something out of the norm and build a relationship on friendship. Let the lust build and fulfill it when you give the woman a commitment until death do you part. Be the man and take the lead; and lead with love. Let it be your idea to wait until marriage for sex instead of being forced into it by her. You won't die without having sex. What you will gain is self-control, self-respect, focus, will-power, determination, strength, and so much more.

Challenge yourself and Grow through it because you're worth the wait.

Cheers...

I wanted to keep it Professional - Devon Franklin

Hollywood executive and preacher, Devon Franklin  has revealed that he almost did not date his current wife Meagan Good to avoid seeming unprofessional.

The pair worked together on the 2011 film "Jumping The Broom," but Franklin wanted nothing more than to view the Christian actress as a colleague.

"I was mindful of crossing that professional line," Franklin mentioned in one his interviews with  a magazine recently. "Then, while we were talking at the Jumping The Broom premiere party, I thought, 'Wait! Something is going on here' but I kept trying to tell myself, 'No, no no.'

Now, he views the 32-year-old actress as nothing short of a blessing in his life.
"Meagan is just so precious, so incredible," Franklin told ESSENCE. "When she walks in the room, I think 'Wow, is that really my wife? God must really think highly of me!'"
Franklin previously offered some advice about how some people's preferences can cause them to miss out on love.
"What if your greatest blessing is lying on the other side of the very thing you keep rejecting because you don't think it looks like what you want it to look like," Franklin questioned an OWN "Life Class" audience recently. "When it came to love and it came to dating, I said I would never date an actress."
Franklin said he believed that not wanting something will bring it into your life.
"The fastest way for something to happen in your life, is just say, 'I'll never do it,'" he said.
However, Franklin said that patience is key to maintaining a good relationship.

source: christianpost.com

"I wish there was somebody in the house who knew that there was power in the patience…if you just wait, God will do it.

In the February 2012 issue of EBONY, Franklin wrote his wife a love letter where he talks about being blessed to love her.
"I'm amazed at how incredible God really is. How incredible that He chose me with the blessing of loving you," Franklin wrote to his wife. "You are my true love. I can absolutely say I started living when you came into my life. Each day, I'm so grateful that I can love you and be loved by you."






HERE'S VIDEO OF THEIR KINGDOM LOVE http://onechurchla.org/?portfolio=kingdom-love-with-devon-franklin-meagan-good

Be Inspired

'Love More Purely, Listen to Holy Spirit' Tina Campbell & Husband share 2015 Relationship Goals

International Gospel artist Tina Campbell of "Mary Mary' and her husband Teddy have been able to mend their marital issue in 2014 and now the Kingdom star and husband are sharing some of their relationship goals for 2015.
The couple posted this on their joint instagram account.

For 2015 love more purely, give the understanding you'd like to get, be more patient with others, consider others, be less insensitive, compliment others more, let stuff go, pray for people even when there's no crisis, practice listening instead of being heard, read the Bible and talk to Jesus more than anyone else," the Instagram note reads. "Be quiet and listen to the Holy Spirit more than anyone else. Be disciplined! Stop making excuses! Be better..on purpose!"

 Tina Overcame her Husband's nine infidelities in 2013 and watched God heal her brokenness in 2014. According to Tina, their story is a living proof that modern day Miracles still exist. God kept Tina and Teddy from a broken Marriage ans He did it in One year.

 

Available on Amazon & Itunes

Tina has just released a book about her spiritual struggle and Journey and she will be releasingher new album any moment from now.

Ready For Love?

A lot of us aren't far from being ready for love, but there are some areas that we may need to work on first. 
If you're like me that's had more taste of toxic relationships that good ones, i'll recommend you take note of the points listed below. I'm glad that my perspective on relationships has changed a whole lot after i found Christ but it doesn't change the fact that i'm still afraid of making a wrong choice.
We are in age where people live their lives based on reality (negative realities) instead of facts (Godly facts).
For every time I've had to reflect on my past relationships, i realize  i made those choices. No one forced me, i was dating at the level of my self esteem then but now i know better and i can boldly say that relationships don't have to be sour.
I have friends that now tell me i have unrealistic standards but i still do not plan for less. An healthy relationship isn't always perfect but yea very productive.

"We can't help who we are attracted to but we can help who we choose to be with."

In relationships, there’s no such thing as achieving perfection, but it’s important to have a healthy perspective of where you came from, who you are, and where you’re going. Be open to getting to know yourself as best as you can, because it will set the stage for success in your future relationships. Take some time to set your priorities and get your expectations on track understanding what a relationship can and can’t do. You may have some fears, and the truth is, relationships can be risky- but open your heart to trusting God and seeking His good plan for your life. Invite Him to be a part of your love and relationships by connecting with Him every step of the way. Healthy relationships are learned, so invest a lot of time in the friendship stage and keep working on the actions of love by learning healthy communication. Be sure to understand and apply the importance of emotional and physical boundaries, and remember that good relationships aren't just found- they are chosen. Seek to make good choices.

"While it’s true we are in the world but are not of the world, even the strongest Christian single needs a little help to survive the daily grind sometimes. Gain insights on all the things required to help you endure the nuances of daily living."

Love,
Oye (DivineDiva)

#Christiansingles-Dealing with Sexual Desires

Issues such as sex are not often discussed in churches today but i feel we need to shed more light in that angle. I am personally confused as a Christian single lady that's tasted sex before and now that I've decided to honor God with my body it feels tougher. I've been celibate for over one year and it's not like i desire sex but dealing with people that desire sex is my struggle.
Recently, i almost got carried away and the devil sent me on a guilt trip for hours. I wasn't myself because i got physically intimate with someone i was attracted to. It is true that our desire for sex and sexual/physical intimacy is evidence of our need to connect.  We are relational beings, who even by the nature of our physiological makeup, are created to be in connection with other human beings.
As Christians how do we handle them when we have no means of expressing them as an unmarried individual?  How do we allow these desires to point us to Jesus, rather than keep us away?
 I've come to realize that dealing with sexual desires is something we will face at many points in our single life but learning to deal with these desires in a healthy and God-honoring way is a discipline that will last us in a healthy married life.
if you're like me that's made a decision to honor God my body, Here are some steps as seen on truelovedates.com that we can take, as we seek to honor God with these overwhelming desires?

First, we must allow our desires to bring us in CONNECTION WITH GOD. What I mean by this is that so many times we are wired to run from God in guilt, fear, and shame when we are struggling with our sexual desires. This is the devil's plan so find whatever way you can to connect to God. Worship, pray, study the word. Do anything that would bring you back to Jesus.

Secondly, it is important we CONNECT WITH OTHERS.  There are times when the gravity of our sexual desire correlates with the state of our emotional needs.  We need to feel loved, accepted, and to belong.  Sex in marriage offers all of those things within the context of a life-long companion.  But for those who are unmarried, those very needs can begin to be met outside of a sexual relationship- in the embrace of a friend or the comforting words of a loving mentor.  God can use all kinds of people to fill our deep emotional needs for connection.  But we have to be aware of the connection, and then take action by engaging in meaningful non-sexual relationships.

Thirdly, we can CONNECT TO THE WORLD around us. channel your anger!  I believe that we can also channel our sexual desires by focusing our time, our energy, and our efforts on things that are meaningful and purposeful.  What is it that excites you?   What are the things that your heart deeply connects with?  What causes do you feel are most important in this world?  Use your energies to make a difference in the world around you. I think Paul was referring to just that when he explained that greater than sexual connection, is the ability to serve God in a focused and undistracted way.  Unlike Paul,  we may not all have the life-calling of a celibacy, but we do have a calling toward meaning, toward purpose, and toward a fulfilling life.  Use this time in your life to focus your energies on things that matter and the pursuit of your passions- and I believe it will bring you one step closer to getting a healthy perspective on your sexual desires.

Finally, PROTECT. Not only are we called to connect, but we are called to protect this God-given gift that we’ve been given.  You can have the greatest intentions in the world, coupled with the strongest desire to do right- but if you don’t have a plan, you’re not going to be able to get to where you want to be. We need to make a practical plan that will challenge you to take the necessary steps to both being freed from sexual sin, as well as protecting yourself from sexual struggles.

May God give us the wisdom and the grace to realize that He has got our best interest in mind…and He always has.  May we find the courage and strength to choose to do things His way, because His way will always be our best.
  Make sure you share this with someone..




Love,
Divnediva

How do you handle them when you have no means of expressing them as an unmarried individual?  How do you allow them to point you to Jesus, rather than keep you away? - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/what-to-do-with-sexual-desires/#sthash.u9bYfxyU.dpuf

I never asked you to be my Girlfriend...

    There so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the confusion they’ve experienced as a result of  friends with benefits.
Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with no clear direction of where its headed?  We call ourselves single yet we engage in a relationship that sometimes feels like an addiction. A relationship filled with Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship.
We've become a generation that's comfortable with doing the "Normal" instead of the "right" things. Even though normal feels like the acceptable thing, this lack of certainty kind of relationship will cause more damage than do any good.
The last time i checked, I've been involved in more friends with benefits kind of relationships than any serious one. I actually thought it was the coolest thing ever..i mean no strings attached right? but the truth is there are actually more strings attached.
   I remember the last experience that got me running from such contract...I met Femi in a popular Lagos Club, good looking and very calm guy (well...i thought he was)..he walked up to me and offered me a bottle of champagne. We got talking inside the club and we exchanged numbers.
We often started seeing daily, got closer and graduated to getting physical  without any proper definition. I wanted more but i couldn't say anything because i thought defining whatever we were doing would mean "expecting more from Femi"...We were together for over one year until i figured he was talking to some new chic and i confronted him and he said to me "i never asked you to be my girlfriend"
   We started a relationship with "no rules, no titles, no commitment and well it ended that way.
If you ever find yourself caught in the ambiguity of a friends with benefits relationship–maybe it’s time to ask yourself who this relationship is actually benefiting?  Here are some things to consider:

1.  When you start a relationship with no boundaries–you usually stay there. One thing that defines a friends with benefits relationship is the fact that it’s lacking boundaries. The problem in relationships like this is that they don’t magically turn into healthy relationships along the way.  When you start a game with no rules–it’s really hard to go back and play by the rules.

2.  If you give it for free–they’ll never pay for it.  A huge problem in the friends with benefits culture is that you learn to give, and give, and give–with no expectation or understanding of what you’ll get in return.  You give of yourself, your body, your time, and your emotions without requiring a commitment.  When it comes to relationships, commitment is the price to pay–the more you give, the more you should receive.  We all come with a price tag–and that price tag should be set high.  But friends with benefits encourages you to give for free–and creates an atmosphere that fuels selfishness, disrespect, and zero responsibility. Healthy relationships require you to take ownership of your choices–and that always starts with clear commitment

3.  The physical has the power to affect the emotional–and skew the rational.  We’re made to bond during physical intimacy.  Whether it be a hug, a kiss, or sex–our bodies are wired to release chemicals during physical intimacy that make us feel connected to the person we’re with.  That’s a really amazing thing–but it can be a really confusing thing when your mind is telling you you’re friends–and your emotions are telling you something far different.  When you create a relationship that’s built on the physical–your emotions will always follow suit.  But the thing is–emotions can’t always be trusted.

4. If you’ve decided to be just “friends” with someone–there’s probably a good reason. physical and emotional connection will cause you to keep coming back for more–until you find yourself in an extremely unhealthy and dangerous cycle that can leave you feeling paralyzed, stuck, and unable to move forward.

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

 No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. They will still approach you, they will call you boring bu you have choice...Don't wait for any guy to tell you "he never asked you to be his girlfriend"

Friends with Benefits has zero Benefits.


inspired by:
truelovedates.com

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpu

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

10 Girls You Should NEVER Date

Ms. Barbie Girl

 You know exactly who I’m talking about, don’t you? This is the girl that’s “too-perfect-to-be-real”, and that’s because she probably isn’t. If you don’t recognize her by her “augmentations” you might recognize her by the fact it takes her 3 hours to get ready, the ridiculous amount of time she spends looking in the mirror, the 5 inches of make-up on her face (and maybe even body…), or the way that she has to look “just perfect” in order to go anywhere or do anything, including a trip to the gym, or a run to the grocery store. I’m all for a woman looking presentable, and I am a fan of my makeup, but let’s remember that true beauty never starts on the outside, it always runs so much deeper. Be on the lookout for THAT kind of unfading beauty.

Ms. Flirtatious

This one right here will win you over with her seductive glances and her flattering words. But the problem you’ll start noticing is that her flirting isn’t contained to just you. The glances she gives your waiter, the way talks to your roommate, or the way she giggles flirtatiously at your best friends jokes. It’s one thing to be flirtatious as an avenue of affection within a relationship, it’s a whole other thing when you’re marked by your flirtatious way. Recognize this one quickly, because what you see here is what you’ll get.

Ms. I’m Sexy and I Know It

It’s great to have self-confidence as a woman, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. In fact, this woman often feels so insecure about herself, that she uses her body to gain affirmation from men. In other words, she flaunts her stuff to anyone who’s willing to look. While her seduction might draw you like a magnet, you’ll quickly realize that it’s also drawing everyone else, too. And one thing I’ve learned from my husband about men, is that one of the most attractive things about a relationship with a woman is the exclusivity of that woman being “only his”. So find a woman that shows she’s “all yours” by respecting her body and reserving it for the proper time.

Ms. Nothin’ In There But Air

One of the most beautiful things about the early stages of relationship is the mystery involved. Little by little you get to know one layer at a time, revealing heart, mind, soul and spirit. But as you peel back the layers of this particular woman, you’ll realize that…there isn’t too much there! This is the kind of woman who hasn’t really taken the time to know herself, know her beliefs, or know what she feels or thinks. She’ll likely default to your preferences, your beliefs, your relationship with God, and even your interests. While this may seem to make life easy at first, the lack of mystery and depth will wear you down, because a healthy relationship involves two unique identities- not just one trying to mimic the other.

Ms. Gold-Digger

She loves your car, she loves your career, and she loves your cash. But does she really like you? You’ll recognize this one quickly, because she’ll take all she can get from you, and give very little back in return. She’s looking for security more than she’s looking for a significant relationship. Say bye-bye before your cash runs out.

Ms. Overly Critical

I think this is the worst of all the women you could date. According to proverbs, a woman like this is like the sound of a leak dripping: constant, annoying, and problematic!! And just like a leak, this woman will DRAIN you, and leave you questioning your value, your significance, and your worth. You’ll never feel appreciated under the constant cloud of criticism. First, see the good in yourself, and then find a woman who can do the same.

Ms. Bossy-Pants

This one will micromanage your entire life. She’ll have an opinion about how you should spend your money, chew your food, iron your clothes, and maybe even how you should change your personality. The thing about this woman is that she’s a control-freak. And one thing I know about control freaks is that deep down, they feel like they have no control in some area of their life, and so they take it out on their relationships. This habit is not one you can “out learn”, in fact, it takes a lot of time, introspection, and work. So step away from this relationship, and give her the time she needs to heal, to learn, and to grow.

Ms. Wishy-Washy

A woman like this will take your heart on quite a ride, because she doesn’t really know what she wants. One moment she’s into you, and the other moment she’s confused and wants to take a step back. This internal struggle is not going to be resolved anytime soon, so do yourself a favor and find someone who’s just as into you as you are into them. Healthy relationships are marked by peace, not by constant doubt and regret.

Ms. One-Way-Street

This princess thinks that somehow, relationships are all-about-her. She may even wrongly believe this is a “biblical” approach to relationships. In other words- she expects you to do all the work, and to put in all the effort while she sits back and reaps the rewards. The sad part is that sometimes this mentality is wrongly perpetuated in some church circles, as the men are expected to be the “leaders” while the women are the “followers”. That might work for some guys, but for others, this lack of reciprocity in a relationship eventually becomes draining. You need a woman who will pour into you, as much as you pour into her.  Who will sharpen you, as you sharpen her. Who will challenge you to become better, while you do the same for her. The best relationships are made of two people- each giving their best to one another.

Ms. Drama-Drama-Drama

Drama with her momma, drama with her best friend, drama with her boss at work. This gal is characterized by drama everywhere she goes, and she tells you all about it. But the drama isn’t necessarily the dangerous part in this kind of woman, it’s the underlying belief that it’s always everyone else’s fault. This woman is to be avoided because she doesn’t understand the meaning of taking ownership and responsibility of her life and relationships. And trust me, that blame-game will quickly become a part of your relationship, too.
With that in mind, let’s all be mindful of the reality that relationships aren’t about finding perfection– we all know that doesn’t exist. But they are about finding imperfect people, who realize their flaws and weaknesses, and are working to become better and better with each and every passing day.

You are the only one responsible for the kind of person you date.


ORIGINAL POST from http://truelovedates.com

Affair-guard your Marriage.

Marriage is very rarely a match made in heaven, and often requires much more work than many people realize they are getting themselves into. Along with the journey of parenting, marriage is truly one of the bigger challenges in our lives.
Affairs are, unfortunately, one of the biggest reasons for separation and divorce these days.That is why it is very important to understand what you can do today to help affair-guard your marriage in the years to come.
Communication is a key in any successful relationship. If you are having problems, turn towards your spouse, not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. Your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they’re interested in together. Don’t stop being friends just because you’re married.
According to Lakesha of http://kingdomrelationships.org Growth is one vital element of marriage that many people take for granted. A constant sense of growth needs to be present in any marriage. If it’s not, one partner may feel like they are moving forward and their spouse is not, which often creates a wall between them. They feel as if they are worlds apart, or not on the same track as far as growth. Be sure to take time each day for growth within your relationship. Make a commitment to do one thing each day that will benefit your marriage, no matter how small it may be.  Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship if you feel you’ve gotten off track.

Certain things in your marriage should be guarded like a hawk. There are things that should be held in high value in a marriage, and kept sacred.

• Time – The way you spend your time should be guarded in respect toward your marriage and family. Where are you spending your time? Ask your spouse if they need more time with you. Time with your spouse should be set aside and kept in high regards. Respect the time you spend together.

• Mind – What occupies your mind? Is your spouse often present in your mind? Do you think good thoughts about them? Evaluate what is on your mind, and put your marriage in there if it’s not already.

• Energy – Where you are putting your energy, especially everyday, is important to your marriage. Where are you putting your energy? Is your energy invested in your marriage, your family, or in less important events in life? Evaluate your energy, and make sure that there is a reasonable balance between activity, work, marriage, and family.

Finally, set a Formula for Success. Your marriage has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your spouse’s needs are so that you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate them. Don’t let resentment build.



Written by Lakesha..kingdomrelationships.org

The 10 Commandments of Dating...

One of the biggest deceptions in society today is that you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy, which is so far from the truth. A lot of singles feel pressured to be in a relationship by a certain age. I know at some point i crave all the attention in the world but I've been able to caution myself and hence enjoy "my own" company.
The truth is there are processes we have to go through before we can even be ready to become a wife. I've come to realize that being single doesn't have to be as difficult as we portray it. It has more to do with your state of mind than the status.
I can across this ten dating commandments that I believe will help us with successful dating that will lead to a successful relationship....yea i mean us (I'm still single and still learning)


Commandment #1: Thou Shalt Be Honest
I've always believed in this slogan "no trust, no love" and its the absolute truth. The best and most important way to begin a relationship is by being honest from the start. Being honest requires telling the truth even if it means hurting the other person's feelings. Lying to prevent them from getting hurt will have a bigger negative impact later. its a lot of work really because you need to keep up the lie to avoid the truth from surfacing.
And it gets hard for men because women will ask the same question in different ways just to see if your answer will change. You also have to be careful how you are honest. Saying exactly what‘s on your mind at any given moment is not good.Honesty is still the best policy.

Commandment #2: Thou Shalt Set Boundaries
This is one area I'm seriously struggling with, i don't need to wear a mask just to make my readers feel "all is well" when all isn't well. I've been single for about 2years but whenever i try talking to someone new, we always have conflict when it comes to setting boundaries. Boundaries aren't walls,but rather it helps distinguish what we let in and let out.


Commandment# 3: Thou Shalt Ask Questions
One of the main reasons people get hurt in relationships is because they don‘t ask the right or enough questions. Its always a case of Boy meets girl, Girl wants to know if boy is single and vice versa..then they become an item.
o many singles especially miss this because they are looking at the person‘s outer appearance or what they have. I learned that in management and business you should ask open-ended questions that begin with who, what, when, where, why, and how, will call them to give you more specific and not just yes or no answers. ASK SPECIFIC QUESTIONS!! yea..like the type they ask when we go for Job interviews.
The answers to the questions you ask will give you a better insight on how that person is and how they will be in the relationship. And you will have a red or green light on going further.

• “How is your relationship with God?”
• “Why are you single?”
• “What do you like to do for fun?”

• “What is your family like?”
• “What are you looking for in a relationship?”
• “Where do you see yourself in the next five years?”

• “What do you feel is your purpose in life?”
• “What does honesty mean to you?” 

 Commandment #4: Thou Shalt Not Have Sex before Marriage 
Here‘s the vicious cycle that many couples go through each weekend: first of all he calls up, then of course, you dress up, he then picks you up, later that night to sex you up, the next morning you finally wake up, realizing that you‘ve totally messed up, now wondering why he no longer calls you!
You don't have to accept this but the truth is many guys only show a form of  love in the beginning in order to get sex. The minute you tell him that you’re not having sex with him; he will either respect you or leave you. a lot of women give sex to get love ...(i was once that chic) but hey! wake up! Sex isn't going to keep any man.
But in the same way some men give a form of love to get sex, there are an equal number of women who are giving sex in order to get love. God didn’t say “Let the marriage bed be undefiled” in Hebrews 13:4 to rob us of physical pleasure, but to give it to us in fullness at the right time. Just imagine what it will be like when it’s ordained by God. Yeah Buddy! Remember, when done right, you should be having the best sex ever!


Commandment #5: Thou Shalt Pay Attention
"never let your need for companionship blind you from seeing what‘s clearly in front of you." A lot of singles get hurt in relationships because we don‘t pay attention to the red flags in the beginning and throughout the dating phase.  When we first meet someone we are attracted to, there is a phase where we are filled with infatuation and excitement. Because we are lonely and we like this person so much, we overlook the flaws and red flags that pop up, hoping that they will change as the relationship evolves.he deeper you get into the relationship and the more comfortable they become with you, the masks will come off and you will discover who that person really is, baggage and all. By then you are in it so deep, you‘ve become too emotionally attached and can‘t let go. Then, one of two things will happen. You will either break up, or go through months of heartache and pain, or you stay with that person and suffer through a relationship filled with disappointment and unhappiness.

Commandment #6: Thou Shalt Date in Groups
What‘s most important, you get to see how they interact with other people, and how you fit into each other’s circles. Dating in groups is a great way of getting to know the other person outside of your two party circle. And it will allow your friends to give you feedback on something you may have overlooked that can be hurtful in the long run.

Commandment #7: Thou Shalt Not Settle
Are you currently in a relationship that you‘re having doubts about? Are you trying to convince yourself that you love that person? Are you having a hard time letting go of a relationship that you know is not right for you because you‘ve been with them for a number of years? Do you find yourself making excuses for that person? If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, YOU ARE SETTLING!
Deep inside, when you first met this person, you knew they were not the one you really wanted. But you went with it anyway because you thought they would change or you were tired of being alone. It happens like that for a lot of people. The problem with settling in relationships is that you put yourself through a time of constantly trying to make that person into what you wanted in the beginning. And when you add sex into the equation, it gets even harder to break away because you have bonded with them spiritually therefore creating a soul tie.
If you think you fit into this category, you just have to make that hard, heart breaking decision, to get out of that relationship, to get closer to God and start over.

Commandment #8: Thou Shalt Not Play Games
Generally, men and women play games because either they are insecure or they are immature. One of the most annoying games played by men and women is the phone game. They give you their number, but don‘t answer when you call. Then an hour later, the text ―what‘s up‖ to your phone. Knowing they saw you calling the first time. They do this just to see if you‘re going to keep calling. Another game is playing hard to get. Now this is easier for women than men.
Ladies often play more games than guys but no one sees it that way.
They will say they want to go out with but will never set a date. Then when you ask them when they are available, they say, “I will let you know.”Or they use the nice guy to treat them good and buy them things, while they date the bad boy. Playing games with a person can cause a lot of hurt especially if they really like you.

Commandment #9: Thou Shalt Be Open-Minded
Being open minded in dating is very important. Now when I say ―open minded,‖ I‘m not talking about sexual exploits. I‘m talking about being open to things the other person likes and is passionate about. You have to be open to try to be involved in some of the things the person you‘re dating likes. You should at least try some of the things the other person likes at least once. You never know, you might really enjoy it.

Commandment #10: Thou shalt take your time
When we meet someone that might fulfill our needs and expectations, we tend to jump right into the relationship before really getting to know the person.  I understand your friends are getting married every weekend but you haven't even met mr right, relax girlfriend and take your time.
Getting to know that person will take more than a couple of dates. And PLEASE don‘t think that you can use sex to determine compatibility. That‘s the worse way to start a relationship.
You have to take time to learn each other‘s character, and learn what determines your compatibility. You have to take the time to see how the other person adapts to situations and changes in life.

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curled from kingdomrelationships.org