6 Rules of Handling Relationship Conflict..

Through conflict we can grow more like Jesus, see the world in a bigger way, and learn to be less selfish. We can feel understood and valued by our spouse. We can end up feeling that our marriage is rock solid.
But that doesn’t happen if conflict tears down rather than builds up.
So if you want it to build up, follow these 6 steps:

 

Now I know not all conflict can go that smoothly. Some of us struggle with spouses who are deep in sin or who are extremely selfish. But that is a minority of relationships. Usually it’s just a misunderstanding that’s making us feel off kilter.
To repair those moments, keep in mind these rules.


Curled from christianpost.com

 

I wasn't Paying Attention To My Husband- Tina Campbell

Recently, Tina Campell of Mary Mary forgave her cheating Husband and they renewed their vows.

  According to Tina, there's power and Liberation in Forgiveness.

When I stumbled across this video on YouTube , i was impressed with Tina's transparency. Tina didn't blame her husband but she owned up to thefact that  she played a major role in Teddy's infidelity.

Tina stated that she wasn't paying attention to her Husband. She said i gave my Husband all of me but i gave him last.

Watch the video below and i pray that a hurting Woman somewhere finds the strength to forgive her husband.

Tina has also responded to her social media critics by saying  "Why would I let the whole world see my failure, and not let the world see the rebuilding? I don't care what anybody thinks. I chose to forgive because unforgiveness kept me miserable.

There's a lot to learn from Tina Campbell's story in this video

http://youtu.be/zVSJx8wjclQ

Be Inspired..

And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. “I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat (Malachi 2:13 - 16 MSG)

PICTURE OF THE DAY..

Do you know the difference?

Touré Roberts and Sarah Jakes on Love, Purpose, Relationships and Destiny

Must watch....share with a friend!!

You Can’t See What You Don’t First Believe

How often we tend to only believe things we can see. After all, "seeing is believing" as the often-used statement says. Vision that only touches the surface will bring limited results. The end result of what we see begins with what we choose to believe. Our physical sight is very limited but our ability to believe with our hearts and see with our minds is not.

Most everything that exists is a result of someone believing that it could. Dreams come true based on the choice we make to believe in the idea, the project or the concept that we want to become a reality. Much of life is based on believing strongly in something. "Walking by faith and not by sight" is easier said than done. To believe what we cannot now see requires us to remove the scales from our mental vision and the blocks that so often exists because of preconceived notions that are far from truth or reality.
Your mind is powerful. So powerful that it can envision where you want to go, who you want to be, and what you want to do long before you can see it and even if you're not currently in the best position. What we believe dictates our vision and causes what we envision to come to pass.

Too often, we give up when hard times come. When difficulties hit us in the face and adversities become our present reality, we tend to retreat instead of fight forward. Because we are not all-knowing and cannot see the future from our present vantage point, we sometimes make the fatal mistake of allowing what we cannot now see hinder us from believing it will one day come to pass. When we face the impossible, that is the time to start believing that it is possible. What we believe is always greater than what we can see.

Saint Augustine said, "Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you



 www.DaniellaWhyte.com.

WALK AWAY..

It's hard to walk away, but you must! You have to make sure that you're not holding on out of ego. You have to be sure that you're not trying to raise an adult or change a person who is unwilling to change. It's not about you, it's about them. It's not that you're not worthy of love. It's that they aren't ready to learn how to love. You have to recognize that and be willing to walk away.
Sometimes it's the walking away part that makes a person change. If you've left before and it didn't influence them to change then the next time you leave it needs to be for good.
We waste so much unnecessary time trying to make love work. You have to be willing to admit when you didn't know love and you built on lust instead. You have to be willing to cut your losses, learn your lesson(s), and move on stronger and wiser. You can't force love and you shouldn't have to.
Love is a gift not a curse. Don't live a cursed life by trying to hold onto a lie. Evaluate your situation. If you know you've done all you can to make it work and it hasn't, let it go. Love is waiting for you but you can't attract it if you're still tied to a lie.
I pray you find the strength to leave if you know you need to leave!

source: www.TonyGaskins.com 

I want to abstain from Sex but He doesn't

A lot of Christian women are deciding to abstain from sex until marriage for many reasons. The problem comes in when trying to date men who are accustomed to having sex while in a relationship.

I have decided to start dating again while i maintain living by God's principle to save sex for marriage but i keep meeting men who are Christians but don't want to live by God's principles about sex. I think it's more difficult knowing I'm not a virgin but i believe a man will wait for anything or anyone he feels is worth it. There is a shift happening now and because of the state of relationships people are becoming more thoughtful about their actions.
Never compromise your beliefs to please a man...actually it's more like Never compromise your relationship with God to please a man.The man who is for you will respect you and will wait for you.
I recommend doing it God's way. That's where the blessings are and less stress is there. Some women say they have sex because they want to. No, you're having sex because you've been conditioned and programmed to have sex to keep and to please a man. So you give a boyfriend the benefits of a husband and claim that it's all your idea.
If a man leaves you for having standards, let him leave. If a man can't see the bigger picture, he's still a grown boy and will probably cause you more pain and stress than peace and happiness.Has marriage worked even when the couple had sex while dating? Yes! Does that mean it's right? No! Sex keeps no man!!
I started talking to someone recently, he had some of the qualities of what i wanted in my man but he definitely can't wait or isn't willing to wait.
Build your relationship on friendship, not sex. If sex couldn't be part of your relationship, would it still work? If one of you had a stroke and couldn't have sex anymore, would there still be love? If one of you has a surgery or is hospitalized and you couldn't have sex, would there be infidelity? A lot of men even cheat on their woman while she's pregnant. That's because the relationship was built on lust and sex, not love and friendship. So my message to you is; if your legs are closed, keep them closed. If your legs are open, close them.
Do something out of the norm and build a relationship on friendship. Let the lust build and fulfill it when you give the woman a commitment until death do you part. Be the man and take the lead; and lead with love. Let it be your idea to wait until marriage for sex instead of being forced into it by her. You won't die without having sex. What you will gain is self-control, self-respect, focus, will-power, determination, strength, and so much more.

Challenge yourself and Grow through it because you're worth the wait.

Cheers...

I wanted to keep it Professional - Devon Franklin

Hollywood executive and preacher, Devon Franklin  has revealed that he almost did not date his current wife Meagan Good to avoid seeming unprofessional.

The pair worked together on the 2011 film "Jumping The Broom," but Franklin wanted nothing more than to view the Christian actress as a colleague.

"I was mindful of crossing that professional line," Franklin mentioned in one his interviews with  a magazine recently. "Then, while we were talking at the Jumping The Broom premiere party, I thought, 'Wait! Something is going on here' but I kept trying to tell myself, 'No, no no.'

Now, he views the 32-year-old actress as nothing short of a blessing in his life.
"Meagan is just so precious, so incredible," Franklin told ESSENCE. "When she walks in the room, I think 'Wow, is that really my wife? God must really think highly of me!'"
Franklin previously offered some advice about how some people's preferences can cause them to miss out on love.
"What if your greatest blessing is lying on the other side of the very thing you keep rejecting because you don't think it looks like what you want it to look like," Franklin questioned an OWN "Life Class" audience recently. "When it came to love and it came to dating, I said I would never date an actress."
Franklin said he believed that not wanting something will bring it into your life.
"The fastest way for something to happen in your life, is just say, 'I'll never do it,'" he said.
However, Franklin said that patience is key to maintaining a good relationship.

source: christianpost.com

"I wish there was somebody in the house who knew that there was power in the patience…if you just wait, God will do it.

In the February 2012 issue of EBONY, Franklin wrote his wife a love letter where he talks about being blessed to love her.
"I'm amazed at how incredible God really is. How incredible that He chose me with the blessing of loving you," Franklin wrote to his wife. "You are my true love. I can absolutely say I started living when you came into my life. Each day, I'm so grateful that I can love you and be loved by you."






HERE'S VIDEO OF THEIR KINGDOM LOVE http://onechurchla.org/?portfolio=kingdom-love-with-devon-franklin-meagan-good

Be Inspired

'Love More Purely, Listen to Holy Spirit' Tina Campbell & Husband share 2015 Relationship Goals

International Gospel artist Tina Campbell of "Mary Mary' and her husband Teddy have been able to mend their marital issue in 2014 and now the Kingdom star and husband are sharing some of their relationship goals for 2015.
The couple posted this on their joint instagram account.

For 2015 love more purely, give the understanding you'd like to get, be more patient with others, consider others, be less insensitive, compliment others more, let stuff go, pray for people even when there's no crisis, practice listening instead of being heard, read the Bible and talk to Jesus more than anyone else," the Instagram note reads. "Be quiet and listen to the Holy Spirit more than anyone else. Be disciplined! Stop making excuses! Be better..on purpose!"

 Tina Overcame her Husband's nine infidelities in 2013 and watched God heal her brokenness in 2014. According to Tina, their story is a living proof that modern day Miracles still exist. God kept Tina and Teddy from a broken Marriage ans He did it in One year.

 

Available on Amazon & Itunes

Tina has just released a book about her spiritual struggle and Journey and she will be releasingher new album any moment from now.

Ready For Love?

A lot of us aren't far from being ready for love, but there are some areas that we may need to work on first. 
If you're like me that's had more taste of toxic relationships that good ones, i'll recommend you take note of the points listed below. I'm glad that my perspective on relationships has changed a whole lot after i found Christ but it doesn't change the fact that i'm still afraid of making a wrong choice.
We are in age where people live their lives based on reality (negative realities) instead of facts (Godly facts).
For every time I've had to reflect on my past relationships, i realize  i made those choices. No one forced me, i was dating at the level of my self esteem then but now i know better and i can boldly say that relationships don't have to be sour.
I have friends that now tell me i have unrealistic standards but i still do not plan for less. An healthy relationship isn't always perfect but yea very productive.

"We can't help who we are attracted to but we can help who we choose to be with."

In relationships, there’s no such thing as achieving perfection, but it’s important to have a healthy perspective of where you came from, who you are, and where you’re going. Be open to getting to know yourself as best as you can, because it will set the stage for success in your future relationships. Take some time to set your priorities and get your expectations on track understanding what a relationship can and can’t do. You may have some fears, and the truth is, relationships can be risky- but open your heart to trusting God and seeking His good plan for your life. Invite Him to be a part of your love and relationships by connecting with Him every step of the way. Healthy relationships are learned, so invest a lot of time in the friendship stage and keep working on the actions of love by learning healthy communication. Be sure to understand and apply the importance of emotional and physical boundaries, and remember that good relationships aren't just found- they are chosen. Seek to make good choices.

"While it’s true we are in the world but are not of the world, even the strongest Christian single needs a little help to survive the daily grind sometimes. Gain insights on all the things required to help you endure the nuances of daily living."

Love,
Oye (DivineDiva)

#Christiansingles-Dealing with Sexual Desires

Issues such as sex are not often discussed in churches today but i feel we need to shed more light in that angle. I am personally confused as a Christian single lady that's tasted sex before and now that I've decided to honor God with my body it feels tougher. I've been celibate for over one year and it's not like i desire sex but dealing with people that desire sex is my struggle.
Recently, i almost got carried away and the devil sent me on a guilt trip for hours. I wasn't myself because i got physically intimate with someone i was attracted to. It is true that our desire for sex and sexual/physical intimacy is evidence of our need to connect.  We are relational beings, who even by the nature of our physiological makeup, are created to be in connection with other human beings.
As Christians how do we handle them when we have no means of expressing them as an unmarried individual?  How do we allow these desires to point us to Jesus, rather than keep us away?
 I've come to realize that dealing with sexual desires is something we will face at many points in our single life but learning to deal with these desires in a healthy and God-honoring way is a discipline that will last us in a healthy married life.
if you're like me that's made a decision to honor God my body, Here are some steps as seen on truelovedates.com that we can take, as we seek to honor God with these overwhelming desires?

First, we must allow our desires to bring us in CONNECTION WITH GOD. What I mean by this is that so many times we are wired to run from God in guilt, fear, and shame when we are struggling with our sexual desires. This is the devil's plan so find whatever way you can to connect to God. Worship, pray, study the word. Do anything that would bring you back to Jesus.

Secondly, it is important we CONNECT WITH OTHERS.  There are times when the gravity of our sexual desire correlates with the state of our emotional needs.  We need to feel loved, accepted, and to belong.  Sex in marriage offers all of those things within the context of a life-long companion.  But for those who are unmarried, those very needs can begin to be met outside of a sexual relationship- in the embrace of a friend or the comforting words of a loving mentor.  God can use all kinds of people to fill our deep emotional needs for connection.  But we have to be aware of the connection, and then take action by engaging in meaningful non-sexual relationships.

Thirdly, we can CONNECT TO THE WORLD around us. channel your anger!  I believe that we can also channel our sexual desires by focusing our time, our energy, and our efforts on things that are meaningful and purposeful.  What is it that excites you?   What are the things that your heart deeply connects with?  What causes do you feel are most important in this world?  Use your energies to make a difference in the world around you. I think Paul was referring to just that when he explained that greater than sexual connection, is the ability to serve God in a focused and undistracted way.  Unlike Paul,  we may not all have the life-calling of a celibacy, but we do have a calling toward meaning, toward purpose, and toward a fulfilling life.  Use this time in your life to focus your energies on things that matter and the pursuit of your passions- and I believe it will bring you one step closer to getting a healthy perspective on your sexual desires.

Finally, PROTECT. Not only are we called to connect, but we are called to protect this God-given gift that we’ve been given.  You can have the greatest intentions in the world, coupled with the strongest desire to do right- but if you don’t have a plan, you’re not going to be able to get to where you want to be. We need to make a practical plan that will challenge you to take the necessary steps to both being freed from sexual sin, as well as protecting yourself from sexual struggles.

May God give us the wisdom and the grace to realize that He has got our best interest in mind…and He always has.  May we find the courage and strength to choose to do things His way, because His way will always be our best.
  Make sure you share this with someone..




Love,
Divnediva

How do you handle them when you have no means of expressing them as an unmarried individual?  How do you allow them to point you to Jesus, rather than keep you away? - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/what-to-do-with-sexual-desires/#sthash.u9bYfxyU.dpuf

I never asked you to be my Girlfriend...

    There so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the confusion they’ve experienced as a result of  friends with benefits.
Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with no clear direction of where its headed?  We call ourselves single yet we engage in a relationship that sometimes feels like an addiction. A relationship filled with Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship.
We've become a generation that's comfortable with doing the "Normal" instead of the "right" things. Even though normal feels like the acceptable thing, this lack of certainty kind of relationship will cause more damage than do any good.
The last time i checked, I've been involved in more friends with benefits kind of relationships than any serious one. I actually thought it was the coolest thing ever..i mean no strings attached right? but the truth is there are actually more strings attached.
   I remember the last experience that got me running from such contract...I met Femi in a popular Lagos Club, good looking and very calm guy (well...i thought he was)..he walked up to me and offered me a bottle of champagne. We got talking inside the club and we exchanged numbers.
We often started seeing daily, got closer and graduated to getting physical  without any proper definition. I wanted more but i couldn't say anything because i thought defining whatever we were doing would mean "expecting more from Femi"...We were together for over one year until i figured he was talking to some new chic and i confronted him and he said to me "i never asked you to be my girlfriend"
   We started a relationship with "no rules, no titles, no commitment and well it ended that way.
If you ever find yourself caught in the ambiguity of a friends with benefits relationship–maybe it’s time to ask yourself who this relationship is actually benefiting?  Here are some things to consider:

1.  When you start a relationship with no boundaries–you usually stay there. One thing that defines a friends with benefits relationship is the fact that it’s lacking boundaries. The problem in relationships like this is that they don’t magically turn into healthy relationships along the way.  When you start a game with no rules–it’s really hard to go back and play by the rules.

2.  If you give it for free–they’ll never pay for it.  A huge problem in the friends with benefits culture is that you learn to give, and give, and give–with no expectation or understanding of what you’ll get in return.  You give of yourself, your body, your time, and your emotions without requiring a commitment.  When it comes to relationships, commitment is the price to pay–the more you give, the more you should receive.  We all come with a price tag–and that price tag should be set high.  But friends with benefits encourages you to give for free–and creates an atmosphere that fuels selfishness, disrespect, and zero responsibility. Healthy relationships require you to take ownership of your choices–and that always starts with clear commitment

3.  The physical has the power to affect the emotional–and skew the rational.  We’re made to bond during physical intimacy.  Whether it be a hug, a kiss, or sex–our bodies are wired to release chemicals during physical intimacy that make us feel connected to the person we’re with.  That’s a really amazing thing–but it can be a really confusing thing when your mind is telling you you’re friends–and your emotions are telling you something far different.  When you create a relationship that’s built on the physical–your emotions will always follow suit.  But the thing is–emotions can’t always be trusted.

4. If you’ve decided to be just “friends” with someone–there’s probably a good reason. physical and emotional connection will cause you to keep coming back for more–until you find yourself in an extremely unhealthy and dangerous cycle that can leave you feeling paralyzed, stuck, and unable to move forward.

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

 No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. They will still approach you, they will call you boring bu you have choice...Don't wait for any guy to tell you "he never asked you to be his girlfriend"

Friends with Benefits has zero Benefits.


inspired by:
truelovedates.com

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.  You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpu

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf

I hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See more at: http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf