Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with no clear direction of where its headed? We call ourselves single yet we engage in a relationship that sometimes feels like an addiction. A relationship filled with Lust, sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship.
We've become a generation that's comfortable with doing the "Normal" instead of the "right" things. Even though normal feels like the acceptable thing, this lack of certainty kind of relationship will cause more damage than do any good.
The last time i checked, I've been involved in more friends with benefits kind of relationships than any serious one. I actually thought it was the coolest thing ever..i mean no strings attached right? but the truth is there are actually more strings attached.
I remember the last experience that got me running from such contract...I met Femi in a popular Lagos Club, good looking and very calm guy (well...i thought he was)..he walked up to me and offered me a bottle of champagne. We got talking inside the club and we exchanged numbers.
We often started seeing daily, got closer and graduated to getting physical without any proper definition. I wanted more but i couldn't say anything because i thought defining whatever we were doing would mean "expecting more from Femi"...We were together for over one year until i figured he was talking to some new chic and i confronted him and he said to me "i never asked you to be my girlfriend"
We started a relationship with "no rules, no titles, no commitment and well it ended that way.
If you ever find yourself caught in the ambiguity of a friends with benefits relationship–maybe it’s time to ask yourself who this relationship is actually benefiting? Here are some things to consider:
1. When you start a relationship with no boundaries–you usually stay there. One thing that defines a friends with benefits relationship is the fact that it’s lacking boundaries. The problem in relationships like this is that they don’t magically turn into healthy relationships along the way. When you start a game with no rules–it’s really hard to go back and play by the rules.
2. If you give it for free–they’ll never pay for it. A huge problem in the friends with benefits culture is that you learn to give, and give, and give–with no expectation or understanding of what you’ll get in return. You give of yourself, your body, your time, and your emotions without requiring a commitment. When it comes to relationships, commitment is the price to pay–the more you give, the more you should receive. We all come with a price tag–and that price tag should be set high. But friends with benefits encourages you to give for free–and creates an atmosphere that fuels selfishness, disrespect, and zero responsibility. Healthy relationships require you to take ownership of your choices–and that always starts with clear commitment
3. The physical has the power to affect the emotional–and skew the rational. We’re made to bond during physical intimacy. Whether it be a hug, a kiss, or sex–our bodies are wired to release chemicals during physical intimacy that make us feel connected to the person we’re with. That’s a really amazing thing–but it can be a really confusing thing when your mind is telling you you’re friends–and your emotions are telling you something far different. When you create a relationship that’s built on the physical–your emotions will always follow suit. But the thing is–emotions can’t always be trusted.
4. If you’ve decided to be just “friends” with someone–there’s probably a good reason. physical and emotional connection will cause you to keep coming back for more–until you find yourself in an extremely unhealthy and dangerous cycle that can leave you feeling paralyzed, stuck, and unable to move forward.
No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.
You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to
expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.
You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to
expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship. You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to expect great things in your life and relationships. They will still approach you, they will call you boring bu you have choice...Don't wait for any guy to tell you "he never asked you to be his girlfriend"Friends with Benefits has zero Benefits.
inspired by:
truelovedates.com
No matter who you are or what you’ve been through–you’re worth far more than the pain of a one-way relationship.
You owe it to yourself to up your value, to ask for more, and to
expect great things in your life and relationships. - See more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
Lust,
sex, and physical passion- masked behind the normalcy of a friendship. -
See more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
I
hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in
their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve
experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See
more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
I
hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in
their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve
experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See
more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
I
hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in
their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve
experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See
more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpu
I
hear from so many people who are broken, confused, and paralyzed in
their ability to trust–simply due to the ambiguity and confusion they’ve
experienced as a result of the friends with benefits epidemic. - See
more at:
http://truelovedates.com/friendswithbenefits/#sthash.wjwpz2jG.dpuf
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