Tuesday 28 April 2015

10 Girls You Should NEVER Date


Ms. Barbie Girl
 You know exactly who I’m talking about, don’t you? This is the girl that’s “too-perfect-to-be-real”, and that’s because she probably isn’t. If you don’t recognize her by her “augmentations” you might recognize her by the fact it takes her 3 hours to get ready, the ridiculous amount of time she spends looking in the mirror, the 5 inches of make-up on her face (and maybe even body…), or the way that she has to look “just perfect” in order to go anywhere or do anything, including a trip to the gym, or a run to the grocery store. I’m all for a woman looking presentable, and I am a fan of my makeup, but let’s remember that true beauty never starts on the outside, it always runs so much deeper. Be on the lookout for THAT kind of unfading beauty.
Ms. Flirtatious
This one right here will win you over with her seductive glances and her flattering words. But the problem you’ll start noticing is that her flirting isn’t contained to just you. The glances she gives your waiter, the way talks to your roommate, or the way she giggles flirtatiously at your best friends jokes. It’s one thing to be flirtatious as an avenue of affection within a relationship, it’s a whole other thing when you’re marked by your flirtatious way. Recognize this one quickly, because what you see here is what you’ll get.
Ms. I’m Sexy and I Know It
It’s great to have self-confidence as a woman, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. In fact, this woman often feels so insecure about herself, that she uses her body to gain affirmation from men. In other words, she flaunts her stuff to anyone who’s willing to look. While her seduction might draw you like a magnet, you’ll quickly realize that it’s also drawing everyone else, too. And one thing I’ve learned from my husband about men, is that one of the most attractive things about a relationship with a woman is the exclusivity of that woman being “only his”. So find a woman that shows she’s “all yours” by respecting her body and reserving it for the proper time.
Ms. Nothin’ In There But Air
One of the most beautiful things about the early stages of relationship is the mystery involved. Little by little you get to know one layer at a time, revealing heart, mind, soul and spirit. But as you peel back the layers of this particular woman, you’ll realize that…there isn’t too much there! This is the kind of woman who hasn’t really taken the time to know herself, know her beliefs, or know what she feels or thinks. She’ll likely default to your preferences, your beliefs, your relationship with God, and even your interests. While this may seem to make life easy at first, the lack of mystery and depth will wear you down, because a healthy relationship involves two unique identities- not just one trying to mimic the other.
Ms. Gold-Digger
She loves your car, she loves your career, and she loves your cash. But does she really like you? You’ll recognize this one quickly, because she’ll take all she can get from you, and give very little back in return. She’s looking for security more than she’s looking for a significant relationship. Say bye-bye before your cash runs out.
Ms. Overly Critical
I think this is the worst of all the women you could date. According to proverbs, a woman like this is like the sound of a leak dripping: constant, annoying, and problematic!! And just like a leak, this woman will DRAIN you, and leave you questioning your value, your significance, and your worth. You’ll never feel appreciated under the constant cloud of criticism. First, see the good in yourself, and then find a woman who can do the same.
Ms. Bossy-Pants
This one will micromanage your entire life. She’ll have an opinion about how you should spend your money, chew your food, iron your clothes, and maybe even how you should change your personality. The thing about this woman is that she’s a control-freak. And one thing I know about control freaks is that deep down, they feel like they have no control in some area of their life, and so they take it out on their relationships. This habit is not one you can “out learn”, in fact, it takes a lot of time, introspection, and work. So step away from this relationship, and give her the time she needs to heal, to learn, and to grow.
Ms. Wishy-Washy
A woman like this will take your heart on quite a ride, because she doesn’t really know what she wants. One moment she’s into you, and the other moment she’s confused and wants to take a step back. This internal struggle is not going to be resolved anytime soon, so do yourself a favor and find someone who’s just as into you as you are into them. Healthy relationships are marked by peace, not by constant doubt and regret.
Ms. One-Way-Street
This princess thinks that somehow, relationships are all-about-her. She may even wrongly believe this is a “biblical” approach to relationships. In other words- she expects you to do all the work, and to put in all the effort while she sits back and reaps the rewards. The sad part is that sometimes this mentality is wrongly perpetuated in some church circles, as the men are expected to be the “leaders” while the women are the “followers”. That might work for some guys, but for others, this lack of reciprocity in a relationship eventually becomes draining. You need a woman who will pour into you, as much as you pour into her.  Who will sharpen you, as you sharpen her. Who will challenge you to become better, while you do the same for her. The best relationships are made of two people- each giving their best to one another.
Ms. Drama-Drama-Drama
Drama with her momma, drama with her best friend, drama with her boss at work. This gal is characterized by drama everywhere she goes, and she tells you all about it. But the drama isn’t necessarily the dangerous part in this kind of woman, it’s the underlying belief that it’s always everyone else’s fault. This woman is to be avoided because she doesn’t understand the meaning of taking ownership and responsibility of her life and relationships. And trust me, that blame-game will quickly become a part of your relationship, too.
With that in mind, let’s all be mindful of the reality that relationships aren’t about finding perfection– we all know that doesn’t exist. But they are about finding imperfect people, who realize their flaws and weaknesses, and are working to become better and better with each and every passing day.

You are the only one responsible for the kind of person you date.


ORIGINAL POST from http://truelovedates.com

Affair-guard your Marriage.


Marriage is very rarely a match made in heaven, and often requires much more work than many people realize they are getting themselves into. Along with the journey of parenting, marriage is truly one of the bigger challenges in our lives.
Affairs are, unfortunately, one of the biggest reasons for separation and divorce these days.That is why it is very important to understand what you can do today to help affair-guard your marriage in the years to come.
Communication is a key in any successful relationship. If you are having problems, turn towards your spouse, not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. Your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they’re interested in together. Don’t stop being friends just because you’re married.
According to Lakesha of http://kingdomrelationships.org Growth is one vital element of marriage that many people take for granted. A constant sense of growth needs to be present in any marriage. If it’s not, one partner may feel like they are moving forward and their spouse is not, which often creates a wall between them. They feel as if they are worlds apart, or not on the same track as far as growth. Be sure to take time each day for growth within your relationship. Make a commitment to do one thing each day that will benefit your marriage, no matter how small it may be.  Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship if you feel you’ve gotten off track.


Certain things in your marriage should be guarded like a hawk. There are things that should be held in high value in a marriage, and kept sacred.
  • Time – The way you spend your time should be guarded in respect toward your marriage and family. Where are you spending your time? Ask your spouse if they need more time with you. Time with your spouse should be set aside and kept in high regards. Respect the time you spend together.
  • Mind – What occupies your mind? Is your spouse often present in your mind? Do you think good thoughts about them? Evaluate what is on your mind, and put your marriage in there if it’s not already.
  • Energy – Where you are putting your energy, especially everyday, is important to your marriage. Where are you putting your energy? Is your energy invested in your marriage, your family, or in less important events in life? Evaluate your energy, and make sure that there is a reasonable balance between activity, work, marriage, and family.
Finally, set a Formula for Success. Your marriage has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your spouse’s needs are so that you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate them. Don’t let resentment build.



Written by Lakesha..kingdomrelationships.org

The 10 Commandments of Dating...


One of the biggest deceptions in society today is that you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy, which is so far from the truth. A lot of singles feel pressured to be in a relationship by a certain age. I know at some point i crave all the attention in the world but I've been able to caution myself and hence enjoy "my own" company.
The truth is there are processes we have to go through before we can even be ready to become a wife. I've come to realize that being single doesn't have to be as difficult as we portray it. It has more to do with your state of mind than the status.
I can across this ten dating commandments that I believe will help us with successful dating that will lead to a successful relationship....yea i mean us (I'm still single and still learning)


Commandment #1: Thou Shalt Be Honest
I've always believed in this slogan "no trust, no love" and its the absolute truth. The best and most important way to begin a relationship is by being honest from the start. Being honest requires telling the truth even if it means hurting the other person's feelings. Lying to prevent them from getting hurt will have a bigger negative impact later. its a lot of work really because you need to keep up the lie to avoid the truth from surfacing.
And it gets hard for men because women will ask the same question in different ways just to see if your answer will change. You also have to be careful how you are honest. Saying exactly what‘s on your mind at any given moment is not good.Honesty is still the best policy.

Commandment #2: Thou Shalt Set Boundaries
This is one area I'm seriously struggling with, i don't need to wear a mask just to make my readers feel "all is well" when all isn't well. I've been single for about 2years but whenever i try talking to someone new, we always have conflict when it comes to setting boundaries. Boundaries aren't walls,but rather it helps distinguish what we let in and let out.


Commandment# 3: Thou Shalt Ask Questions
One of the main reasons people get hurt in relationships is because they don‘t ask the right or enough questions. Its always a case of Boy meets girl, Girl wants to know if boy is single and vice versa..then they become an item.
o many singles especially miss this because they are looking at the person‘s outer appearance or what they have. I learned that in management and business you should ask open-ended questions that begin with who, what, when, where, why, and how, will call them to give you more specific and not just yes or no answers. ASK SPECIFIC QUESTIONS!! yea..like the type they ask when we go for Job interviews.
The answers to the questions you ask will give you a better insight on how that person is and how they will be in the relationship. And you will have a red or green light on going further.
  • How is your relationship with God?
  • Why are you single?
  • What do you like to do for fun?
  • What is your family like?
  • What are you looking for in a relationship?
  • Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
  • What do you feel is your purpose in life?
  • What does honesty mean to you?” 
 Commandment #4: Thou Shalt Not Have Sex before Marriage 
Here‘s the vicious cycle that many couples go through each weekend: first of all he calls up, then of course, you dress up, he then picks you up, later that night to sex you up, the next morning you finally wake up, realizing that you‘ve totally messed up, now wondering why he no longer calls you!
You don't have to accept this but the truth is many guys only show a form of  love in the beginning in order to get sex. The minute you tell him that you’re not having sex with him; he will either respect you or leave you. a lot of women give sex to get love ...(i was once that chic) but hey! wake up! Sex isn't going to keep any man.
But in the same way some men give a form of love to get sex, there are an equal number of women who are giving sex in order to get love. God didn’t say “Let the marriage bed be undefiled” in Hebrews 13:4 to rob us of physical pleasure, but to give it to us in fullness at the right time. Just imagine what it will be like when it’s ordained by God. Yeah Buddy! Remember, when done right, you should be having the best sex ever!


Commandment #5: Thou Shalt Pay Attention
"never let your need for companionship blind you from seeing what‘s clearly in front of you." A lot of singles get hurt in relationships because we don‘t pay attention to the red flags in the beginning and throughout the dating phase.  When we first meet someone we are attracted to, there is a phase where we are filled with infatuation and excitement. Because we are lonely and we like this person so much, we overlook the flaws and red flags that pop up, hoping that they will change as the relationship evolves.he deeper you get into the relationship and the more comfortable they become with you, the masks will come off and you will discover who that person really is, baggage and all. By then you are in it so deep, you‘ve become too emotionally attached and can‘t let go. Then, one of two things will happen. You will either break up, or go through months of heartache and pain, or you stay with that person and suffer through a relationship filled with disappointment and unhappiness.

Commandment #6: Thou Shalt Date in Groups
What‘s most important, you get to see how they interact with other people, and how you fit into each other’s circles. Dating in groups is a great way of getting to know the other person outside of your two party circle. And it will allow your friends to give you feedback on something you may have overlooked that can be hurtful in the long run.

Commandment #7: Thou Shalt Not Settle
Are you currently in a relationship that you‘re having doubts about? Are you trying to convince yourself that you love that person? Are you having a hard time letting go of a relationship that you know is not right for you because you‘ve been with them for a number of years? Do you find yourself making excuses for that person? If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, YOU ARE SETTLING!
Deep inside, when you first met this person, you knew they were not the one you really wanted. But you went with it anyway because you thought they would change or you were tired of being alone. It happens like that for a lot of people. The problem with settling in relationships is that you put yourself through a time of constantly trying to make that person into what you wanted in the beginning. And when you add sex into the equation, it gets even harder to break away because you have bonded with them spiritually therefore creating a soul tie.
If you think you fit into this category, you just have to make that hard, heart breaking decision, to get out of that relationship, to get closer to God and start over.

Commandment #8: Thou Shalt Not Play Games
Generally, men and women play games because either they are insecure or they are immature. One of the most annoying games played by men and women is the phone game. They give you their number, but don‘t answer when you call. Then an hour later, the text ―what‘s up‖ to your phone. Knowing they saw you calling the first time. They do this just to see if you‘re going to keep calling. Another game is playing hard to get. Now this is easier for women than men.
Ladies often play more games than guys but no one sees it that way.
They will say they want to go out with but will never set a date. Then when you ask them when they are available, they say, “I will let you know.”Or they use the nice guy to treat them good and buy them things, while they date the bad boy. Playing games with a person can cause a lot of hurt especially if they really like you.

Commandment #9: Thou Shalt Be Open-Minded
Being open minded in dating is very important. Now when I say ―open minded,‖ I‘m not talking about sexual exploits. I‘m talking about being open to things the other person likes and is passionate about. You have to be open to try to be involved in some of the things the person you‘re dating likes. You should at least try some of the things the other person likes at least once. You never know, you might really enjoy it.

Commandment #10: Thou shalt take your time
When we meet someone that might fulfill our needs and expectations, we tend to jump right into the relationship before really getting to know the person.  I understand your friends are getting married every weekend but you haven't even met mr right, relax girlfriend and take your time.
Getting to know that person will take more than a couple of dates. And PLEASE don‘t think that you can use sex to determine compatibility. That‘s the worse way to start a relationship.
You have to take time to learn each other‘s character, and learn what determines your compatibility. You have to take the time to see how the other person adapts to situations and changes in life.

I hope you find this helpful..Drop your comments below, let's make this a s interactive as we can anddon't forget to share with a friend.

curled from kingdomrelationships.org

Wednesday 22 April 2015

He can't handle your past?




I am a woman in my late-20s, hoping to be married someday. I love and follow God to the best of my ability. I grew up in a Christian home; however, during high school days i got really adventurous and my University days extremely wild. I loved partying, drinking and i didn't exclude having sex.
Even though i knew i wanted more of commitment than sex in my relationship, i couldn't help settling for less.
I spent a lot of time trying to convince every guy i met that i wasn't totally a bad girl and would take whatever they brought my way all in the name of "seeking acceptance"
 After i dedicated my life to Christ , of course a lot changed and it has improved my perspective about relationships. I no longer worry about what some guy thinks of me. The most important thing to me now is getting it right with God.
I feel brand new and i think only God can give one that kind of confident. I know there are several Ladies out there struggling with this but I'm hoping after reading this post, you will realize you're not the problem but the man judging you is.
The problem with the guys who break up with you when they find out about your past is that they don’t understand the seriousness of sin. Not really. They would say they do and that’s why they can’t date you. But Scripture says they don’t, or they’d be humbled by the knowledge of how much they’ve been forgiven (Luke 7:47).
We all have pasts to be forgiven. Before trusting Jesus’ finished work on the cross, we all stand condemned before God (Romans 3:10). If you have truly repented and turned from your former sins; if you are “flee[ing] youthful passions and pursu[ing] righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22); if you are abiding in Christ and striving to be like Him in the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Peter 1:161:22), then a man who understands the Gospel will know that you are a sinner like himself, mercifully saved by grace to the praise of God’s glory. Though your past will undoubtedly be a grief to him and the specifics will be painful to hear, for a man who truly understands the Gospel, that you sinned when you were not faithfully following Christ will not be a surprise.

I believe there are godly single men who will forgive your past and look at you for who you really are: "the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus." Such a one will be the sort who understands the horror of his own sin  and the infinite mercy he has received in Christ. He must be a man who is truly saved, one who understands the Gospel of GRACE.
I pray God will lead us to a man who, when he hears the horrors of our past, will in light of the glories of Christ's saving work, rejoice greatly in God, the God who transforms sinners.
























 Oye(DivineDiva)
curled from www.boundless.org  


If you have a question you'd like us to consider for this blog, or a personal experience you'll like to share. please send it to oyeajakaiye@gmail.com

7 Qualities to Look for in a Potential Spouse




1. Character
“Character” is the word used to define a person’s good ethics, decency, honor, virtue. A person with character not only knows what the right thing to do is; he or she actually does the right thing. Anyone worth marrying should be trustworthy.
2. Chemistry
Sometimes a relationship is so logical, rational and unemotional that one wonders if this is romance or just a collegial relationship. There’s got to be some spark, some magnetism that turns you on about the other person. OK, so physical attraction shouldn’t necessarily be the highest priority and the only reason to get married. But even if Chemistry is No. 2 or No. 3, it is still really high!
3. Competency
Competency in a person is apparent when he or she shows some ability to master something well. Competent people are seen as efficient, adept, skilled in working with people and in finishing projects. Can he keep a job? Does she show herself to be responsible? Does she know how to handle money? Does he know how to relate to a boss and coworkers in an effective communication style? Why marry someone who keeps failing in a job?
4. Culture
Culture is the environment in which we were raised. It is the atmosphere or attitude of what we think is normal or proper. For a successful marriage to work, one needs to be aware of a potential spouse’s cultural background. I don’t mean there should not be any cultural differences, but if the gap is too wide, it might lead to severe misunderstandings.
5. Commitment
A commitment is a promise, a pledge, an oath; it is a contract one keeps. Society says that your ability to follow through on a vow determines if you are reliable or not. Making a commitment implies that you have the endurance to weather inconvenience and suffering to make good on what you’ve said you would do. Marriage is about making a vow before God and friends that you intend to keep forever. Commitment is the glue that keeps a relationship stable through thick and thin.
6. Communication
It is the way we reveal what we are thinking and also how we determine what the other person is thinking. It’s the style of how we affirm, forgive, encourage or divulge information. Communication takes place in conversation, letter writing, emails, phone calls, and nonverbal body language. As you look at the person you are dating (or thinking of dating), what is the pattern of behavior you observe when it comes to communication style?
7. Core Values
Core values are basic and fundamental to who a person is. They are the foundation for what brings a person joy and passion. They determine what a person thinks is right and wrong in life. Do you and the person you are dating share some basic core values? If supporting the Democratic party is important to you, is the person you are dating of the same view? If it is important to you to have a heart for the poor, does she have one, too?  If your faith is of utmost importance, does he put the same value on faith?


writer: Dan Chun for www.boundless.org

Tuesday 21 April 2015

5 lessons I have learnt from my 5 months of being married - Funto Ibuoye


So it's been 5 months of amazing grace!! Grateful for little beginnings and celebrating every step of the way. Looking forward to the next 5 years and 50 years.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to know it all when it comes to marriage, matter of fact, I'm still in the creche class of marriage. When we are 1 year, I'd move to kindergarten but I have learnt and still learning a lot and simply sharing my lessons.

1. It all starts from the mind. Your marriage will be a reflection of the kind of things you imagine about your marriage in your mind. If you imagine a great, beautiful, fun and blissful marriage, that's what you'd get. If you imagine a marriage that's full of strife and unhappiness, that's what you get. Out of the heart flows the issues of life (and marriage). So everyday I wake up and imagine having the best marriage ever and that's what I get.

2. A Great marriage takes WORK. No, just because both of you are born again, tongue speaking, demon slaying Christians doesn't automatically translate to a great marriage. Yes, that's the foundation but you have to put in the work. Work to put down your pride. Work to get rid of every selfishness. Even the bible says faith without works is dead. So if you like imagine the best marriage, if you don't work for it, you'd only be building castles in the air. And work is not always fun. There have been times I have cried and shouted and sat up late at nights sorting our issues until I finally learnt.

3. Surround yourself with people who are older and have great marriages and also people who are like you and striving towards having great marriages. You cannot possibly go wrong when you are surrounded with like minded people. When I meet older people whose marriages I admire, I ask questions and learn a few things I can apply in my own marriage. I also keep friends, some I've known since and some I've recently met but share same values; we encourage each other, share messages on marriage, pray together, hang out together, share each others victories and challenges.

4. Just because you married as a Virgin doesn't automatically translate to having great sex. Sex like every other thing has to be learnt. It took a while and a lot of reading (and praying) to finally get it. Plus I have a sex mentor who's a "married sex expert" and tutored me almost every step of the way. Sex is very important in marriage, I could not have kept my self all the way till marriage and now get married and be dulling myself. I can only have sex with my husband and I can only have sex on earth (no sex in heaven) so the least I can do is to make the best of it. And it helps a lot when you can talk about every and anything with your spouse. So when he's not doing what I want, I open my mouth and tell him what to do. Getting married as a virgin is not an excuse to not learn how to have great sex. Sex is beautiful and God made sex... For marriage only.

5. Keep your individuality. Yes both of you are now one since you got married. But you are still YOU and your spouse is still him/herself. Just because you're ow married doesn't mean you must now do EVERYTHING together EVERY TIME. Yes pray together, but maintain your individual relationship with Christ. Yes study the word together, but still have your own personal study time. Yes hang out together, but still have your own ME time. You can only fully love someone else when you are the best version of YOU.
‪#‎Marriageisbeautiful‬ ‪#‎ilovemyhusband‬ ‪#‎MCM‬ ‪#‎BlessedbyJesus‬ ‪#‎Spoiltbymyhusband‬

Monday 20 April 2015

Unequally yoked ?

When you meet an incredibly good-looking guy/lady, you both feel the attraction building up but he/she is not SAVED and the bible has clearly stated that "we shouldn't be unequally yoked"....RED FLAG!
As a believer, you know there are somethings you need to leave behind and dating an unsaved person can cause you further distraction leading to stagnancy in your spiritual life. Well, i asked this question on my instagram page and i was able to get a few followers contribute...i hope this helps someone struggling with this...read what they had to say below

@mojicoker: he can be good looking and everything , there might be some other form of attraction, but if he ain't saved then there'e no say, lol. Be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever, it's plainly stated. If he's a church goer that hasn't recieved Jesus as his Lord and Saviour there's still no point. For what as light got to do with darness. 
Don't think you will be changing him because that's not your place, only God can change a person but we deceive ourselves that we can. 
To avoid heartache, heartbreak and a distrusted destiny DO NOT COMPROMISE! God's word is enough..DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED with an UNBELIEVER. #Nuffsaid

@mzhotnfab: it's hard but you have to let go because in truth, he doesn't have the same PRINCIPLES and beliefs...except two WORK and WALK together.

do u see what i see? tell me
@bayobells: if sh's not saved, you're likely to be unsaved soon because you will struggle a great deal with moderation and values. Heaven ain't sure for the family..What's more fufilling tahn seeing every single member of your family in heaven.

@parcelmouth: I'm the wrongest to answer the question..why? because i don't get attracted to the unsaved being Christian is the first task force of attraction in my case

Please Join the conversation by commenting......
you can also follow me on IG @d.ivinediva, twitter @oye_divinediva

Love,
Oye (DivineDiva)

Sunday 19 April 2015

Forgiving a cheating Husband....



I do a lot of reading and when i came across this post on a christian blog, i remembered the exact words of some guest speaker when we had a marriage seminar in church last year..."You need to pray for your husband when you find out he's cheating sometimes its beyond normal".

I'm not married but i trembled on my seat, deep down i know how painful it is when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you...hmmm..let alone husband!!

The truth is Some men have been lured into the snare of the enemy and don’t know how to become untangled. Our men are faced with all types of temptation but one is becoming all too familiar, adultery. Too many women are comfortable with being a mistress, side chic and/or jump off and so our men become trapped. Please understand this post is in no way making excuses for the behavior of adultery. I would like to just shed some light that some of our men our weak in their flesh. Instead of being led by the Spirit of God, they have submitted to their flesh. Instead of exercising self-control, some of our men are just straight out of control and we have to pray them back into the fold. We must pray and some areas require fasting AND praying. Some of our men have joined themselves with a seducing spirit (Jezebel) and don’t even know it. We have to stand FIRM in the gap, praying for his mind (Ephesians 4:22-24), eyes (Psalm 101:3), heart (Proverbs 4:23), ears
(2 Timothy 4:3-4), feet (Matthew 6:13), and his entire body (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).
    
    As a single girl that was once of the world, i got to know that some of these Ladies have no chill..they go extra mile as long as they're getting financial assistance from the man. Our men have to daily fight off the temptations of this world. We must understand they cannot do it on their own. They absolutely need the Lord and our continual prayers. When is the last time you asked your husband, how can I pray for you?

The battle is even harder for wives who are unequally yoked, BUT God is greater. Wives, instead of beating your husband down PRAY. He gets torn down enough in the world , do not tear him down more when he gets home. Even with his flaws, embrace him. Please don’t ever stop praying for your honey, husband and man of God.

Forgive him if not for anything but for you.

Marriage requires a lot of sacrifice and forgiveness....that's just the test of LOVE...

Call forth the king in him. In Jesus name!







CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO OF MARYMARY ON FORGIVING A CHEATING HUSBAND....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBRVBEnoO48




Remember, Love keeps record of no wrong...


Adultery is a choice, not a mistake.


Scandal, Being Mary Jane, Love & Hip Hop, House Wives of (here, there and everywhere)…most of us have seen one or all of these shows before. Television programs now advertise and broadcast ADULTERY as the next best thing as slice bread. Ok, who still says that? But seriously, where is our integrity? We lack self-control. We have allowed our flesh to take full control of our decision making. We don’t consider the hurt and pain our poor choices will cause our loved ones. Adultery is a selfish act. We want what we want and will do whatever to get it and don’t care who we hurt, step on and over to get it. Adultery is a choice never a mistake.



Those shows, especially Scandal and Being Mary Jane, portray a single, successful woman, who appears to have it all but have nothing, yet find themselves having an affair with a married man. What is lacking in the life of this woman that she can be” fulfilled” in every area of her life EXCEPT her relationships? What makes a woman so desperate that she can be OK with laying with someone’s husband, knowingly without any remorse? Could it be loneliness, a desire to be needed, baggage from previous relationships, her father not being present or involved in her life, greed, what is it?

What would cause a man to broke his vows to his wife, “forsaken all others”? Could it be the excitement of the forbidden or the thought I won’t get caught so why not, my needs are not being met at home, I’m just not happy anymore? But how did we get to that unhappy place?

The sad part is the scenario doesn’t change; it’s a never ending cycle. He’s married…cheats with the other woman…decides to leave and divorce his wife…marries the other woman. My question is what makes the other woman so special that she believes he won’t cheat on her, leave and divorce her just like he did with his first wife? For the husband, it’s something in him that needs to be dealt with at the root.


Truthfully, we have gone so far away from God so much so we have totally gone our own way. We don’t consult with God about anything anymore, we just think and do. We try to hide what God already knows about us. Dear You: It’s time to be real with God so that He can deal with your stuff, your brokenness, your unforgiveness, your loneliness that has caused you to do some desperate things. God is good, able and willing. Receive Him today!
curledf rom yourmarriageisyourministry

Friday 17 April 2015

How far is too far before marriage?



Although I got a lot of things wrong when I was dating, I had one general policy I still do not regret: I felt it was best to keep my hands off the women I dated.

 It’s not that I didn’t want to get physical with my dates. I just didn’t want to create all kinds of connections that would give false momentum to a relationship that might not be going anywhere. And frankly, most of my relationships only lasted a couple of dates or a few months. So the chances seemed pretty high that getting physical would either unnaturally prolong relationships or make it really awkward when I saw a woman after a breakup.

  I didn't always abide by this policy, but I’m glad I did most of the time, and here’s why: Every woman I ever dated ended up getting married to another man. Some of these couples I only see on Facebook these days, but there are plenty of others whom I still see in person. In fact, I’m actually friends with the husbands of several of the women I dated.

Those men do not have to wonder what I know about their wife’s body, because I don’t really know anything. I mean, sometimes it’s awkward enough that I dated their wife — how much more awkward would it be for that man to know I had gotten physical with his wife at some point?

I realize there are some folks who have been dating for much longer or who are engaged and feel like it’s probably OK to get somewhat physical before marriage. I mean, many of our non-Christian friends take sex as a given in dating. So we figure that it can’t hurt a Christian couple to explore a little bit without having sex.

You know, I might agree if I had actually met a couple who could successfully put the brakes on before things started to get out of hand, but after all these years, I still haven’t. The thing is, whether it’s kissing or groping or removing an article of clothing, it’s all foreplay. And once that party gets started, your hormones don’t hear your conscience’s weakened efforts to remind you about honoring God with your body. So yeah, it makes sense in theory, but in practice, it’s practically impossible.


The Struggle for My Wife and Me

My wife and I had a short dating relationship, and our engagement only lasted five months. Thank God, because we certainly had a strong physical attraction to each other, and every time we were alone, temptation was often right there with us.

I still remember the premarital counseling session with our pastor, Mark Booker, when he asked us whether we were walking in physical purity. I said something like, “Well, we’re struggling a little bit.”

Mark said, “Yeah, that’s what you said in the last two times we met. You know, I’m just gonna come right out and say it: You two need to completely discontinue all physical contact until your wedding day.”

We were taken aback – I mean, we weren’t completely out of control (yet). But we knew he was right. We wanted to honor God and each other before marriage, and it wasn’t helping anything for us to see how far we could go without feeling too guilty.


Where the Line Is

If you’re looking for some bright line rule for how far is too far before marriage, you’re going be disappointed. Other than the absolute prohibition on sex before marriage, the Bible only tells us that lust is a sin and that we should “flee youthful passions” (2 Timothy 2:22,Matthew 5:28, Job 31:11-12). However, this much is safe to say: Sexual desire, which is a good thing, is like hunger — it is meant to be satisfied. But just as a healthy diet requires restraint, so does a healthy sex life.

Sexual passion is like partaking of a feast, and love-making is the tantalizing entrée that is only to be eaten after marriage. I suppose you could stand on the sidelines and sample the hors d’ oeuvres as you dream about having a full meal. But if you've been fasting for several years, please understand that there’s a very good chance you’re not going to be able to stop until you've had your fill. And for most people, that means consuming the entree before the dinner bell has actually rung, so perhaps it would be wiser to simply stay out of the dining room until then.

I know self-restraint isn't a popular virtue to cultivate. But nonetheless, it’s a gift to your future marriage, and in the context of dating, it is a gift you may very well give to someone else’s marriage as well.

curled from www.boundless.org

Single Ladies say no to "GREY"



    In my room, wondering why there's so much buzz about the movie"50 shades of Grey." i had cautioned myself enough not to read the book after hearing several gists on why some ladies are into the book.
Allow me to be blunt here but i did hear that a couple of single ladies even married read that book and end up "masturbating"...it was definitely a NO for me as a young Christian Lady building her relationship with Christ but i did go only and saw a trailer...hmmm...why so sexual?
I started to ask my friends who had read the book or seen the movie what was special about "50 shades of Grey" and all i could pick was a fresh-faced girl falls into an awkward relationship with a young impossibly rich tycoon.
    However, what i don't understand is how anyone thought a cute guy manipulating a clueless girl is romantic




Fifty Shades of Grey is selling out via presales in theaters around the country. The books have sold more than 100 million copies. And on Saturday — Valentine's Day, no less — women around the country will travel in packs to sit in a darkened theater and watch Christian Grey intrigue, tempt, woo and win Anastasia Steele. And then he'll intimidate, humiliate, entrap and torture her. Grab the popcorn
   As a matter of fact, there are several Christian Single Ladies who have read the book and are looking to see the movie. Didn't the bible tell us to only think of what is right, true, pure,lovely and admirable?
What on earth made you think domestic abuse was romantic? I know we all truly love Jesus and a part of us sometimes wants to explore...we compensate ourselves by saying "at least we aren't doing the main thing".
  The truth is if you have been asking for a Godly man and you're attracted to Grey then there's something wrong because you're already shopping in hell for a match made in heaven.


I will be publishing more real life stories on core romance, i mean kingdom couple stories that would help you stay focused on God not to make us anxious but to encourage us while we wait.
 Let's not play dumb sisters,Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thoughts to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” When Solomon refers to guarding the heart, he really means the inner core of a person, the thoughts, feelings, desires, will, and choices that make that person who he/she is. The Bible tells us that our thoughts often dictate who we become.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life proverbs 4:23

LOVE IS PATIENT - Funto & Akinade

PowerCouple
 In December 2001- Camp Joseph, organized by YDi-Young Disciples International. (God bless Christian Mothers)! Gaise had a supernatural encounter with God and got into what is known in YDi as Covenant of Purity (COP) and that was how he began saving himself for marriage. He made the decision so as to Honor God with his body.
 Then he met a lady who had made the same decision elsewhere. Their Love story is a unique one but this post is specifically to encourage everyone that's waiting till the deal day.
God's purpose for marriage is definitely beyond physical intimacy.
Isn't she lovely?

Funto is an unashamed Lady after Christ, an Accounting graduate from Covenant University. She got married to Akinade Ibuoye, popularly known as "Gaisebaba" who studied Economics at Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife and a Nigerian based energetic, afro fusion Gospel artist on the 23rd of Novemer 2014.
  To Funto "Marriage is the Union of two imperfect people sustained by one perfect Savior".

THEIR STORY
Gaise met Funto on the 20th of October 2012 at a Steve Harris seminar tagged  ‘Business of Your Talent’.He was aparticipant while Funto was a volunteer worker at the registration desk. Gaise noticed how bubbly and beautiful at first contact and he ensured he got her BBM pin that day.
Conversation commenced, then Chemistry but they both had to WAIT because they had just gotten out of a bad relationship.
The next six month wasn't a smooth one for them because Gaise wanted to make sure he was getting it right. They deleted themselves on bbm and even unfollowed on twitter all in the name of WAITING..hmm
Real Men Pray! 
 They defined their relationship in July 2013 and like every other couple had a lot of personal issues to deal with,,*awwww*
Overtime their relationship began to blossom and they learnt how to deal with their differences. They could have given up at several points but they didn’t; we worked at it and made sure it worked out. It was a collective effort.
cute..picture curled from #Bellanaija
 Gaise finally proposed to Funto on the 12th of February 2014, He made an artwork of her, got a bouquet of flowers and of course the engagement ring and went to her office where he popped the question. 
Funto's 25th birthday
Godliness is not an excuse not to be romantic, we think Gaise nailed it!!
watch the proposal video here https://youtu.be/2Z78IUpw-Zk

ENGAGED GOD'S WAY COUPLE



Heather Lindsey, Founder of The Pinky Promise, an organization that promotes honoring God with your life & body whether single or married. Pinky Promise was founded in January 2012 and has grown to over 22,000 women making a promise to honor God with their life.

Founder, Heather challenges teens, young adults and women to rise above cultural pressures and to stay determined to live for Christ regardless of their circumstances. Facing consequences women in previous generations couldn't imagine, Ladies receive straight talk from Heather on how to say no in a yes society.
     Heather was the 10th of 23 children adopted by her parents. Raised in a home with brothers and sisters of different nationalities, she learned early lessons in diversity and applies those in her dynamic presentations.

Heather is totally obsessed with Jesus and she's married to a man she calls an "amazing Guy" Cornellius.
Cornellius and Heather lindsey are present leaders of an evangelistic ministry called "The Gathering Oasis." They havea son named "Logan' and Heather is expecting another daughter this year as she announced on her instagram page.
They both have written several self-help and motivational books and the most recent from Heather is Dusty Crowns.
http://www.heatherllindsey.com/2014/07/my-new-book-is-here-dusty-crowns.html#.VTCAVc4f6M8


Love Looks Good

 Are you in a relationship that you know is going nowhere? Are you confused about your next step? Are you searching for answers about what to do in your relationship? Watch Cornelius share wisdom on how to let go of bad relationships https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6WZYaTi3lI here.
Power Couple...Praying Couple










Welcome to Match Made in Heaven...




 Welcome to Match Made in Heaven, a Christian Blog that promotes purity and Godliness in relationships. The purpose of this blog is to encourage and celebrate Singles and married couples that belong to Jesus.
We understand the challenges that come with maintaining a Godly relationship but will be shedding more light on the benefits.We will be sharing excerpts from real life events such weddings, engagements and even proposals.
 We promise to bring you the best Kingdom couple gists. Read more about our kigdom couple crush for the day.

 “When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.”
Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

   Sarah Jakes, 25, is the daughter of prominent Bishop T.D. Jakes, who shared her testimony in her memoir, "Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life."
"If you had told me the girl who got pregnant at thirteen and felt like the black sheep child of America's favorite preacher would now be a twenty-five-year-old single mom, divorcee, author, motivational speaker, TV personality, ministry director, and senior editor, I never would have believed you," she writes
One thing that got me stalking Sarah all over social media was her "transparency". She believes in sharing the messy details first before delivering the message.
 According to Sarah, the only way to get your bearings and find yourself is to trust that you were never really lost," she continued. "Amid all your twists and turns, perhaps you simply haven't discovered the right direction yet. God loves the lost. And He loves to help us find our way when we turn to Him and ask directions."
 Sarah Jakes got married to her Christian lover Toure Roberts who happens to be a prominent and sought after Man of God. Toure leads a congretion in LA called "One church International"
 Pastor Toures told his congregation they left town  and had a very private, intimate ceremony, because they wanted it to be about them...He described the ceremony as a beautiful, beautiful sunset ceremony on a fine beach."
   Pastor Roberts, 41, proposed on September 22. It is the second marriage for both, and they have a total of five children form their prior relationships.

  
 Watch this clip to hear their match made in heaven story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13MXWH8RiFo... We can't wait to read yours.



Love...
XoXo