So it's been 5 months of amazing grace!! Grateful for little beginnings and celebrating every step of the way. Looking forward to the next 5 years and 50 years.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to know it all when it comes to marriage, matter of fact, I'm still in the creche class of marriage. When we are 1 year, I'd move to kindergarten but I have learnt and still learning a lot and simply sharing my lessons.
1. It all starts from the mind. Your marriage will be a reflection of the kind of things you imagine about your marriage in your mind. If you imagine a great, beautiful, fun and blissful marriage, that's what you'd get. If you imagine a marriage that's full of strife and unhappiness, that's what you get. Out of the heart flows the issues of life (and marriage). So everyday I wake up and imagine having the best marriage ever and that's what I get.
2. A Great marriage takes WORK. No, just because both of you are born again, tongue speaking, demon slaying Christians doesn't automatically translate to a great marriage. Yes, that's the foundation but you have to put in the work. Work to put down your pride. Work to get rid of every selfishness. Even the bible says faith without works is dead. So if you like imagine the best marriage, if you don't work for it, you'd only be building castles in the air. And work is not always fun. There have been times I have cried and shouted and sat up late at nights sorting our issues until I finally learnt.
3. Surround yourself with people who are older and have great marriages and also people who are like you and striving towards having great marriages. You cannot possibly go wrong when you are surrounded with like minded people. When I meet older people whose marriages I admire, I ask questions and learn a few things I can apply in my own marriage. I also keep friends, some I've known since and some I've recently met but share same values; we encourage each other, share messages on marriage, pray together, hang out together, share each others victories and challenges.
4. Just because you married as a Virgin doesn't automatically translate to having great sex. Sex like every other thing has to be learnt. It took a while and a lot of reading (and praying) to finally get it. Plus I have a sex mentor who's a "married sex expert" and tutored me almost every step of the way. Sex is very important in marriage, I could not have kept my self all the way till marriage and now get married and be dulling myself. I can only have sex with my husband and I can only have sex on earth (no sex in heaven) so the least I can do is to make the best of it. And it helps a lot when you can talk about every and anything with your spouse. So when he's not doing what I want, I open my mouth and tell him what to do. Getting married as a virgin is not an excuse to not learn how to have great sex. Sex is beautiful and God made sex... For marriage only.
5. Keep your individuality. Yes both of you are now one since you got married. But you are still YOU and your spouse is still him/herself. Just because you're ow married doesn't mean you must now do EVERYTHING together EVERY TIME. Yes pray together, but maintain your individual relationship with Christ. Yes study the word together, but still have your own personal study time. Yes hang out together, but still have your own ME time. You can only fully love someone else when you are the best version of YOU.
#Marriageisbeautiful #ilovemyhusband #MCM #BlessedbyJesus #Spoiltbymyhusband
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