Living Free....

Freedom from sin does not equal a perfect record, I’m coming to understand.

I’m going on 2years of being on the run from sexual immorality. When I say that I mean that I’ve been free from past habits that I’d been trapped in for the majority of my life. I’ve had one major hiccup & two over the board acts. One when I got closer to an old friend and  the other when I started liking some good guy..someone I should have turned away from. Everything happened at a time when i was starving my inner man.

What am I doing? I thought, Am I really going to step back into this when I’ve been so wonderfully out for so long?

I decided, no, i have to put an end to it. 

Here’s where I saw the freedom: I wouldn't let either of those failings drag me back into the usual cycle. I know where i'm coming from and it's not a very pleasant lifestyle.

On a good day, my failing or allow me to say my falling would have triggered my surrender to my flesh, and to the idea that I can’t ever get it right and be free from lust. I remember sending a message to my friend saying "maybe i'm not a good girl afterall" I almost gave up and and the whole process would begin anew.

Why? Because I believed that if I can’t do it perfectly, if I mess up once then I’ve ruined the purity streak and might as well indulge.

Now I see that even though I’ve messed up twice or more I’m still living in freedom. I wouldn't let those failures get in the way of saying no now. It’s not about keeping a perfect record. It’s about choosing grace this very moment.

I say no to the cycle. It doesn’t line up with the Gospel, or with God’s grace. What I’ve got now is much better and it’s truth. If I stumble it doesn’t send me back to the starting line, so I shouldn’t immediately go back to it. I should get up, right where I am and press on toward the prize.

Also, I want to say to those who are also struggling. I’m still tempted, but honestly the less you indulge the easier it gets and the less frequent the temptation. A HUGE part of this is saying no to watching or listening to things that make your mind want to go there. Avoid perversive conversations...yea..we are saved but sometimes we get carried away and we start to discuss things that are not edifying with the opposite sex or maybe fridnds.

Like, last night I said I didn’t want to watch a certain movie because I knew there was sex in it though I couldn’t remember how much. If I’d seen it I knew it would make the temptation to fantasize more difficult so I said no.

keep going! Abstaining gets easier with time! As long as you remember that it's about honoring God with your body.

Smile...Jesus Loves you