CONFESSIONS OF A MASTURBATOR...

Masturbation...that evil monster that's widely accepted these days-even by Christians who tell us it's better to masturbate than to have sex, those are lies!

Fact is, I've been in those shoes, still in those shoes actually, heck I'm those shoes! I've been in them for as long as I can remember...very very long!

I don't remember how/why I started, I tell you and I had never spoken about it with anyone till last year. Yes speaking about it helps to overcome the struggle, that's what they say-but I won't lie to you, I've still been there several times.

You see, this is how I knew it was something the devil was using to gradually disrupt the direction my destiny was supposed to take:

- Every single time I got in "the act", a terrible blanket of sadness takes over me! Sometimes, it's so bad that I quit praying and studying God's word or my devotionals. And you know what they say: a PRAYER-LESS Christian is a POWERLESS Christian! The devil would do anything to tear you away from the power you have over him!

- The urge comes at the most important times in my life. Like when I've just finished a 3/7/any number of days of fasting and prayer and the most painful thing is, I give in! Even if I ask for forgiveness and pray that God answers my prayers, maybe God will, but what if it delays those answers or it even renders my prayers invalid?! Remember Job in the Bible, how the devil wanted him to sin so badly so that he can "report" him to God and validate why God shouldn't bless him anymore? The devil consistently attacks the best of us(God's children).

- Lastly, I'm that girl that have said NO all my life to "no sex before marriage" and one of my dreams is to speak with younger girls around the world about keeping themselves till marriage...I'm that friend in any group I'm in that fiercely fights for the "no sex before marriage" rule! For the longest time, I rationalized it because i said it was better than having sex before marriage. But then why do I feel dirty and worthless after each time? Because it's the feeling that comes with it-masturbation is from the devil, so is the feeling that comes afterwards!

My dear, I know what you're going through, I'm still going through it...you see, it doesn't make you a bad person or bad Christian. But you need to fight it-physically, mentally, spiritually! It's a serious battle! As I type this, I'm recognizing how serious it is...see last night, I wanted to take a hot bath soak cos that's my relieves my menstrual cramps, I couldn't do it! You know why? Every single time I tried to soak myself in the bath tub in the past, the urge was back and I gave in every single time!

What am I saying? You need to recognize the harm it brings your way! You need to ask yourself why it's you who has to struggle with it and not the next person- it's because its important to satan to have you live in the repercussions! The Bible says the devil is like a roaring lion, seeking whom to devour- that's you and I! He's here to steal your destiny,kill you and destroy your life! And the more we let him have that power, the easier a target we become!

But God has told us he would never tempt us beyond our abilities...that means, you and I can overcome it! I know it's hard...that feeling of satisfaction while you're at it, and few seconds after, it's so refreshing and all BUT it's a façade, because we all know the shame and guilt that comes after.

I know this is an epistle, and I wish I could say do this and that and your struggle would end but that's gonna be a lie!

But it's a battle you WILL win if you're determined and let God help you fight it! Let every day you overcome it, be a celebrated day because it means you're a step closer to the end of that battle-which we know who the winner is, YOU, sister, YOU!! I'd be praying for you as I pray for myself.

Love ya! 

Writer: One of the DivineDivas