When you find out about the other Woman..

SO you found out that he cheated. You are angry and can't wait to get your hands on that man stealer! You still feel it is her fault why your man strayed, especially since she has been trying for a long time to win him over. However, it's important that you keep your cool in order to avoid embarrassing yourself and giving her the upper hand. Below are things you should never do to get back at the other woman.

Don't get into a cat fight

This happens oh too often. In fact, it only strokes some men's egos when they see women fighting over them. So never, ever, assault the woman for your man's indiscretions. If she approaches you seeking to knock you out, walk away. If she decides to throw the first blow, you have the law on your side if you defend yourself.

Don't call her workplace

Don't invade her workspace by calling or going there to cuss her out as it could make you look desperate and insecure. Calling her office and letting everyone know she has stolen your man will look bad on both of you.

Don't call or text her

Sending text messages and calling incessantly doesn't cut it. In fact it only makes the other woman feel she is in control of the situation. She will simply have a good laugh at your expense. No amount of phone calls or text messages are going to change her mind anyway. Take the matter up with your man. Don't let her think you are a psychopath who can't let go.

Don't get too emotional.

Women handle break-ups a lot differently from men. They are more emotional. It's a good time to remember that men really don't like the drama. Lay off the melodramatics and handle the break-up with grace and dignity. It's not as easy as it sounds, but you will score more points if you stay away from her. Let both of them see that you are above them.

Finally take the matter to God!

Prayer works wonders. Always remember the devil is out there seriously trying to destroy marriages. Please ladies be sensitive!

By: Nkechi Harry Ngonadi (Mrs)

I slept with my friends boyfriend, will God forgive me?

Dear DivineDivas,

Ok, let me be very open for the first time on this platform. First of, I betrayed my best friend about 8 years ago. I had sex with her boyfriend. I was 20years at the time, she used to tell me she and the guy were fighting about one thing or the other, so I should come in and talk to him. I actually had the intent of helping their relationship, but things got out of hand because I and the guy started getting close. the guy disvirgined me and days after started calling me names and all that. We made up again and he had sex wit me again. Then I noticed he always fight with me after getting what he wants. And when he needs me again, he ll be all smiles and nice. So I decided to end it. I couldn't confess to my friend.I think a year later, he claimed he has become born again and so he was going to confess to my friend. So I told him I had to be present. We got there, he did all the talking, put the blame on me, that I seduced him, and so, my friendship was broken. My friend called me the next day to come and tell her my part of the story, I did and we greeted each other from a distance. I didn't know how to pacify her, our third friend came in and settled the issue, but we aren't close again. We tried to mend it after nysc,but this guy went bad mouthing me again. Less I forget, I prayed and prayed for God to forgive me and with His help I was able to forgive myself.

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This truly is a heart breaking event. It's okay for you to feel bad but not enough reason for you to send yourself on a guilt trip! I can feel the pain you are in and the sorrow you feel over what you have done. Pre-marital sex m the other hand is another issue entirely but since you're in Christ now, i'm sure you know better.

It's normal for your friend to set a boundary based on what you did but it doesn't mean she hates you or she hasn't forgiven you but you need to FORGIVE yourself. We ALL have things we have done which we regret. If you say you don’t, I say you haven’t reflected deeply enough on your life (or you are not yet an adult). We need to forgive ourselves for those things—and yes, we need to forgive those who have wronged us, too.

Ultimately forgiveness isn’t really about the other person. Forgiveness is about you. Forgiving frees youto be happier (without the baggage of regrets) and it frees you to create what you desire (without sabotaging your creations by feeling less than deserving).

 When God forgives us, He remembers our sins no more ....

"And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more (Jeremiah 31:34 KJV)

This does not mean that the all-knowing God forgets because He forgives us. Rather, He chooses not to bring up our sin to Himself or others. When our former sins come to mind, we can choose to dwell upon them, or we can choose to fill our minds with thoughts of the awesome God who forgave us and thank and praise Him for it.

  Chin Up Beautiful...There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

Loads of Love...

Oye(DivineDiva)

He Raped Me...Can i Forgive & Forget?

Dear Oye,

I'm kinda struggling to forgive a good friend of mine ( we not really good friends anymore sha) who raped me two years ago. I was a virgin and he knew I was waiting till marriage. I know I should forgive him but every time I remember that day, I always get mad at him and myself. I get upset with myself because something told me to leave his house that day but I didn't listen.

I told him no & he said he thought my know meant yes..

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Its not normal that you have the bitterness in you but now is the time to get it out of you...i'm sure this experience is tainting other areas of your life...but dear it is impossible to inhale new air until you exhale the old according to TD Jakes.

He killed your trust...first thing first congratulations that you shared this because your healing process has started....you first of all need to decide that you're ready to forgive.

It is hard to do but you have to forgive ...pray for him tomorrow in church and tell God that you desire to let go of the past...tell God you no longer want to dress an old wound...

FORGIVE & FORGET...Something i learnt from @bishopjakes about forgetting is ...forgetting isn't a MEMORY LAPSE its a MEMORY RELEASE...you will remain chained to that past until you decide enough is enough...thank God for the experience......Read philippians 3:13-15

Ask God to take out every unforgivesess in your heart...

I know a lot can relate to this....are you willing to forgive or you'll rather stay blaming the guy that raped you?

Life is too short to die a bitter person....DivineDivas forgive & they forget.

Love,

Oye (DivineDiva)

21 steps to a rightful relationship

*Ask the Holyspirit to Lead you 

* The morning after: It's your walk... Win the war... Count it all Joy

* forgive no matter what. God requires us to forgive, since God is love, we can love.

* Are you in the right relationship 

-check in with the master 

- Discernment: ask God the persons purpose in your life. Move on if you have to, it is for the better and the biggest.

* Call upon the Lord

- Know the purpose of each relationship.

* Disobedience blocks blessings- be obedient to him.

* better is the end than the beginning 

- Keep a journal

- be consistent in prayers

* How do you recognize true love

- real love recognizes real love

- you have to put God first

* Power of Discernment 

- Wisdom to know what is God given 

- Godly versus Godly choices 

* Create a relationship with him

- Stay connected to the vine

- surrender to his will

*The Lord has not forgotten about you 

-Nothing is impossible 

- believe again 

- don't bury your dreams in the grave

* How bad do you want it?

- Some things come by prayer and fasting

- be anxious for nothing

* He will restore you, Only Him can.

*Don't lie to yourself 

- Don't Ignore what God is telling you.

- Trust Him

* Let go! You deserve better.

- Yes God has better.

* Start thanking Him for it

- the set time will come 

- put it into the atmosphere 

* get over bad relationships 

- Overcome rejection, Guard you heart 

- men's your broken heart, God wants the best for you 

- don't search for love in wrong places, Get into His word 

* Break the chain, unlock the chains. Move into your rightful place.

*He wants all of you

- put no one before God 

- surrender yourself to God

* Marrying the one he has for you

- how can two walk together unless they agree

- do not be unequally yoked 

- Father if this relationship is not you, please close the door.

* Ask this questions

- Are we equally yoked?

- Should I continue this path?

- Is this God's will for my life?

- Is this person willing to be obedient to Gods will in everything?

- Will this relationship bring glory to God

God loves you....

Happy Sunday

5 Ways to Pray for Love (Before You Find It)

I came across this article online and I thought it was for me. I've never prayed about my love life. I feel like it's just too petty or insignificant but now i know talking to God about my love life is an important thing to do.

I ask God to guard my heart, protect my weaknesses but i just realized there's a lot more to commit to God.

Our desire for love can be so consuming and that explains why we need to spend sometime praying for our love life...yea the time we waste  worrying, analyzing and trying to figure things out.

 The five aspects of our love life we need to pray about

1. Trust

  The search for the right person to date is a huge one. We spend so much time asking ourselves questions..important questions like How would I know?  What would be the signs?  What if I chose the wrong person? What if I messed it up?  The best way to start praying for your love life–is to ask God to increase your trust.  Trust requires a shift in perspective–that allows God to carry the burden of the what-ifs and the unknowns.

2. For Healing

A lot of work has to be done here,

The work I’m talking about is the work of healing.  Insecurities, fears, anger, selfishness, and pride.  The list goes on and on.  This healing needs to take place in our actions and reactions to the world around us-and penetrate all the way into our hearts. We need to pray for more healing during our time as singles.Healing from sin, from struggles, and from temptations.

We need to be healed from a lot of things so we can enjoy a strong and healthy relationship,

3. For Wisdom

God grants wisdom to those who ask for it.  Wisdom to make good choices, to see right from wrong, and to live a life of responsibility.  I would have asked for wisdom to walk away from the open-doors that were harmful, and wisdom to be patient on the ones that seemed to be closed.  As you pray for love, ask God for wisdom- and then listen to what He says.

4. For Fulfillment

 When you are filled to the brim, it overflows into the lives of those around you.  When you’re not, you seek fulfillment from those around you.  So many times we wait for a relationship to fill us up- not realizing that it actually can’t.  Rather than living in the preoccupation of the holes in our lives -we need to ask God for fulfillment and joy during those difficult seasons. 

We should pray for God Himself to fill us up rather than ask Him to give us things to fill us with. 

True fulfillment comes from God and God alone.

5. For Love

Ask God for more of His love in your life. We all want so much to experience the love between a man and a woman but we can't love right if we don't love God. When you get a glimpse of God’s love in your life- you begin to recognize it in the people around you.  I would have been saved from so much heartache and pain if I could have understood what real love actually looked like and learned to give and receive that kind of love- the sacrificial, servant-hearted, selfless love of Jesus Christ.

When it comes to pouring your heart out to the Father in prayer- there is nothing too small for His reach.  We’re invited to talk to Him about every little detail of our lives and of our love lives.  He wants to hear, to listen, and to give us the desires of our heart. 

But more so, prayer is for us.  As much as God longs to give us the desires of our hearts–more so, He longs to change our hearts.  To make our hearts bigger, wiser, stronger. To make them more trusting, more peaceful, and most of all–more like His. 

I hope you find this helpful..please share with a friend.

Love..

Oye(DivineDiva)

Excerpts from truelovedates.com

I wasn't Paying Attention To My Husband- Tina Campbell

Recently, Tina Campell of Mary Mary forgave her cheating Husband and they renewed their vows.

  According to Tina, there's power and Liberation in Forgiveness.

When I stumbled across this video on YouTube , i was impressed with Tina's transparency. Tina didn't blame her husband but she owned up to thefact that  she played a major role in Teddy's infidelity.

Tina stated that she wasn't paying attention to her Husband. She said i gave my Husband all of me but i gave him last.

Watch the video below and i pray that a hurting Woman somewhere finds the strength to forgive her husband.

Tina has also responded to her social media critics by saying  "Why would I let the whole world see my failure, and not let the world see the rebuilding? I don't care what anybody thinks. I chose to forgive because unforgiveness kept me miserable.

There's a lot to learn from Tina Campbell's story in this video

http://youtu.be/zVSJx8wjclQ