I Broke My Abstinence Vow~ How Far Is Too Far?

I Broke My Vow Continuation....

I know a lot of you read my last post and have tagged Ade a bad character in your mind but the truth is i went foo far! The bible has warned us not to be "unequally yoked with unbelievers" Ade was a Christian but not a God chaser. 

I made up my mind to save sex until marriage but some part of me still thought it was okay to kiss,cuddle and maybe grind (allow me...). I knew purity wasn't just about not having sex but i still thought it was okay to get physical and this made me lead Ade on. I knew sleeping over at Ade's wasn't a smart move but the thought of "spicing it up a little" failed me.

As dating christian singles I wonder how far we should go sexually. 

I get that God asks us to save sex until our wedding day, but even in a dating relationship, i know sex isn’t the only line to consider.

Some of you have decided not to kiss until marriage. Others think kissing is okay. Some of you have said you will only hold hands. Others choose a different line. Some of you have realized you’ve gone too far physically only after the damage has been done. That’s why I think it’s wise to know how far you’re willing to go long before you ever have the opportunity to act. But … how far is too far?

Consider these principles checkpoints on the path to purity. If the level of your physical activity in your dating relationship allows you to stick to these principles, you have strong boundaries in place. If the level of physical contact in your relationship violates even one of these principles, you’ve probably gone too far.

Whatever 

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

The question you should be asking is not “How far can we go without getting into trouble?” but “What can we do to think about things that are pure and honorable?”

Can you hold hands, kiss, make out, hug and think thoughts that are pure and honorable? At some point your actions will cause your thoughts to shift away from what is pure and honorable and true and toward a desire for increased sexual contact. We can't decide where out line is after our thoughts have switched to the impure. We need to plan ahead of time how far wevthink we can go and still keep our thoughts fixed on the things of God.

     Ephesians 5:3 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (NIV).

This passage tells us not to even hint at sexual sin and we will be doing the opposite when we spend hours passionately kissing on our boyfriend’s couch leaving each other wanting more and more physical contact. If you are hinting at sex, you’re going too far!!!

If purity is your goal, make a commitment to never cause another person to want to go all the way. Always consider whether your actions might cause your boyfriend to want to become more physically involved. Filter what you see on dates (movies, videos, TV shows), what you do when you’re together, how you relate to each other, how you touch … everything you do!

Don’t Light the Fire like i did with Ade. God didn’t just list a bunch of rules for physical behavior before marriage in His Word. He did something better by giving us principles in His Word that we can apply to our relationships. I can’t tell you exactly how far is too far, but any physical contact made that leaves you wanting some more isn't PURE.

    Mark 14:38 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

My Future Husband...

I'm getting married to the most amazing man on earth...the type that wouldn't ask me "how many sexual partners I've had"...the type that would support my transparency & not be ashamed of my story...i've confessed my sins to God & reconciled with my past...I don't owe any man any explanation.

 My husband will have full confidence in me & i will bring him good all the days of my life... John 8vs7 when they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." 💕💕💕 My unknown future is in the hands of the all-knowing God..

CONFESSIONS OF A MASTURBATOR...

Masturbation...that evil monster that's widely accepted these days-even by Christians who tell us it's better to masturbate than to have sex, those are lies!

Fact is, I've been in those shoes, still in those shoes actually, heck I'm those shoes! I've been in them for as long as I can remember...very very long!

I don't remember how/why I started, I tell you and I had never spoken about it with anyone till last year. Yes speaking about it helps to overcome the struggle, that's what they say-but I won't lie to you, I've still been there several times.

You see, this is how I knew it was something the devil was using to gradually disrupt the direction my destiny was supposed to take:

- Every single time I got in "the act", a terrible blanket of sadness takes over me! Sometimes, it's so bad that I quit praying and studying God's word or my devotionals. And you know what they say: a PRAYER-LESS Christian is a POWERLESS Christian! The devil would do anything to tear you away from the power you have over him!

- The urge comes at the most important times in my life. Like when I've just finished a 3/7/any number of days of fasting and prayer and the most painful thing is, I give in! Even if I ask for forgiveness and pray that God answers my prayers, maybe God will, but what if it delays those answers or it even renders my prayers invalid?! Remember Job in the Bible, how the devil wanted him to sin so badly so that he can "report" him to God and validate why God shouldn't bless him anymore? The devil consistently attacks the best of us(God's children).

- Lastly, I'm that girl that have said NO all my life to "no sex before marriage" and one of my dreams is to speak with younger girls around the world about keeping themselves till marriage...I'm that friend in any group I'm in that fiercely fights for the "no sex before marriage" rule! For the longest time, I rationalized it because i said it was better than having sex before marriage. But then why do I feel dirty and worthless after each time? Because it's the feeling that comes with it-masturbation is from the devil, so is the feeling that comes afterwards!

My dear, I know what you're going through, I'm still going through it...you see, it doesn't make you a bad person or bad Christian. But you need to fight it-physically, mentally, spiritually! It's a serious battle! As I type this, I'm recognizing how serious it is...see last night, I wanted to take a hot bath soak cos that's my relieves my menstrual cramps, I couldn't do it! You know why? Every single time I tried to soak myself in the bath tub in the past, the urge was back and I gave in every single time!

What am I saying? You need to recognize the harm it brings your way! You need to ask yourself why it's you who has to struggle with it and not the next person- it's because its important to satan to have you live in the repercussions! The Bible says the devil is like a roaring lion, seeking whom to devour- that's you and I! He's here to steal your destiny,kill you and destroy your life! And the more we let him have that power, the easier a target we become!

But God has told us he would never tempt us beyond our abilities...that means, you and I can overcome it! I know it's hard...that feeling of satisfaction while you're at it, and few seconds after, it's so refreshing and all BUT it's a façade, because we all know the shame and guilt that comes after.

I know this is an epistle, and I wish I could say do this and that and your struggle would end but that's gonna be a lie!

But it's a battle you WILL win if you're determined and let God help you fight it! Let every day you overcome it, be a celebrated day because it means you're a step closer to the end of that battle-which we know who the winner is, YOU, sister, YOU!! I'd be praying for you as I pray for myself.

Love ya! 

Writer: One of the DivineDivas