"The Purpose Of Modesty"

Life can be full of excuses and justifications. In the area of our clothes we can often hear excuses similar to “God looks at our hearts, not our clothes” or “it’s not my fault that men lack self-control” or “I dress more modestly than others.” These excuses are easy to say and believe when we don’t grasp the purpose of modesty. God didn’t create modesty so that people would stop comparing or lusting. These things are sometimes by-products but they are not the purpose. 

The purpose of modesty is holiness. God created us to be holy, meaning we are to be set apart from everything that is opposite His truth. Holiness is not achieved by being good or following moral rules; it’s achieved through seeking to be so intimate with God that you can’t breathe without Him. 

One of the biggest hindrances to holiness is our self. We begin to focus on what we want, how we need to feel, and how we want to be viewed by others. We dress in a way that allows us to achieve these necessary wants and feelings. We loose the fact that life is not about us but about God. When this happens lines get blurred, excuses rise to the surface and justifications invade our hearts. God, knowing this, advises us to implement the principle of modesty. He knows that striving for modesty will help us downgrade our personal desire and need to feel significant, redirecting our focus onto His truth. God cares about how we live our lives. No excuses or justification will change that. I pray that you begin to see modesty as a tool to help guide you into a lifestyle of holiness. 

Modesty is a picture of Grace...

How Do I Know The Right One For me?

How to Identify "The right one" for me is one question that haunts everyone  but i also know that the reason for that question is mostly out of fear.

The truth is a lot of Christian marriages today has failed because Christians have spiritualized things by placing their hopes of happily ever after on finding "THE RIGHT ONE." When marriage gets difficult, a woman may panic, thinking, "Oh, no! I picked the wrong guy."

You hear statements like "i never should have married him. I had doubts before the wedding and i didn't call it off." It is true that some signs can't be ignored and that is where applying wisom is needed.

Whomever you marry, living out a lifetime commitment of love will be a challenge. One of the Bible's most romantic love stories is the account of Isaac and Rebekah, found in Genesis 24. If there were ever a situation in which God clearly said, "This is the one you should marry!," it was this couple. They were truly a match made in heaven.

Fast-forward to years later. The lovers became parents of twin boys who despise each other. Isaac loves Esau, and Rebekah loves Jacob. We find this husband and wife in a web of manipulation, anger, and deceit. Finding "the one" certainly didn't guarantee a life-long, stress-free love affair. Selfishness and bitterness compromised their love, even though they were ordained by God to fall in love and marry.

Instead of asking the question, "is this who i should marry?" ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I in God's will?

There are some things about our lives that God has not clearly revealed to us. Instead of spinning the wheels trying to figure out what we don't know, we should walk with the Holy spirit. Don't run ahead of Him, and don't lag behind. If you're in Christ, the very Spirit of God dwells in you. As we seek love and marriage, God has given us some clear guidelines of his will and if we really want God to direct our ateps toward the tight man, we have to be obedient to all he's asked of us. Study his word, be prayerful, keep your mind and body pure, and give thanks for your current circumstances. God speaks to hearts that are prepared to listen and obey.

Do not be unequally yoked and flee from sexual immoralities is very clear and direct. Although it could be very challenging  but it's one of the guidelines God has given us.  Dating someone who is on the same spiritual level as you is also something every Christian should consider.

2. Am i seeking wisdom?

Following God's leading isn't always looking for a message in the sky, telling you what to do next. Often, God leads through the wisdom of those he has put in our lives. Solomon mentioned in Proverbs that the difference between a wise person and a fool is whether or not they are open to feedback.

There are general principles of wisdom that can help us in dating and choosing a spouse. E.g it is wise to know a person for at least a year before making the commitment of marriage. Meet his family, his friends and see him in different types of circumstances. 

When  friend or parent raises a concern, do you write them off, or even get angry? There will be patterns and "red flags" about any relationship that are difficult for us to see. We may feel so "in love" and sure about a relationship that we can't imagine it turning sour. It is important to listen to what friends and family members have to say. Ask for their feedback. Be willing to break off a relationship or even an engagement if needed.

3. Am i realistic about Marriage?

While every marriage has seasons of difficulty and disappointment, they also have times of great joy and celebration. Who you marry is a very IMPORTANT DECISION. However, marital happiness isn't solely based on finding Prince Charming. The difference between intimacy and broken vows depends largely on the work you're willing to do within marriage. Any two people who are willing to grow and work through challenges can have a dynamic relationship. Our Differences should help us grow and not consider divorce. In seasons of disagreement, we are to keep our love for each other and for God intentionally. Its not always about finding the right one but about putting God first and being the right one.

Marriage is tremendous gift, but one that will require work and commitment. Expect that no matter who you marry, your concept of love will be refined. When we lean on God and walk alongside the Holy Spirit with reckless abandon, we will have everything we need to be a great wife or husband. 

     2 Peter 1:3 promises, "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life          through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."

God Is the Best Match Maker..

   I sat down on my bed talking to God and pouring out my heart to Him. In actual fact- I was telling God about how the kind of guy I wanted.....lol...funny but true!
It wasn’t like there were no guys.....there were lots of them.....in fact; it was like jumping from one odd bus to another. I didn’t just want boyfriend material, I wanted a husband (not that I’m getting married soon) but then, I wanted someone who loved God like I did, someone who understood me perfectly, someone who complemented me, someone who shared in my vision and also had his, someone whose utmost desire was to make heaven, someone who I could plan my life with and together we would prayerfully set our future in motion....the list was endless. By the time I was done telling God the kind of guy I wanted, I felt like one of those ladies with a highly unrealistic “dream guy”.

Long story cut short, he came into my life a couple of months afterwards. By that time, I was practicing what I learnt from Funto Ibuoye about Waiting. I was prayerfully preparing myself, focusing on my relationship with God and developing my career when my “prince charming” located me.
Today, I celebrate two things amongst a host of others.
1) I’m a year older and all glory belongs to God.
2) I celebrate my engagement to the man of my dreams.
Here’s what I’ve learnt in the past one year- God listens....He always does! And He knows the perfect way to respond!

 This testimony is great and should inspire every Lady in waiting. Too many times, i've had people tell me i have unrealistic expectations when it comes to my "dream guy" but as a believer i'm very certain that God is able to do more than we ask or imagine.
There are days, i feel like giving up then i smile and say to myself "God has never failed". Ladies nothing in the world is worth giving up your relationship with Christ for.
The moral of the story is this, God is still in the business of answering prayers if we ask. Wishing Temitope and her lover a blissful union.


cheers..

"What Modesty Is Not"

The word modesty makes us cringe because we begin to think about what we can’t do. We have heard how we can’t wear certain styles, images or words on our clothes, we can’t dance a certain way, and we can’t appear sexy. Yes, at times, rules such as these can make modesty easier to understand, but here’s the deal, God didn’t create modesty as a rule, He created it as a guide to remind and redirect our focus back to Him. 

When you look at scripture we see God giving us examples, not rules, about the way to dress. These examples are to show us that our clothes and outward appearance are not where we gain our true significance or beauty. God didn’t intend for these examples to become the rules that we live our lives by. When we make these our rules it can cause us to compare our standards to others instead of to God. When those comparisons prove us slightly better we call ourselves good. God would rather us seek Him in each situation, asking questions like “What is the wise choice for my situation?” or “Does this outfit point to God or to myself?”. God doesn’t want us to seek the rules for our answers; He wants us to seek Him. He wants us to search His truth and wisdom for each situation. 
    "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full submission."

God doesn’t’ care about style, dance steps, or feeling sexy. He cares about you. He cares about having a relationship where you continuously align your life with Him and renew your mind with His truth. He knows that when this happens, you will be in a place where you can receive whatever He has to say about modesty, whether it be from the bible, a leader, friend or just a personal conviction. Modesty isn’t about following man-made rules; it’s about searching God’s heart and growing closer to Him. Start seeking to align your heart, mind and soul with God’s truth in the area of your body and He will reveal what is right for you. He won’t disappoint you as you begin to know, love and apply His wisdom to your life.